Review of Use-Cases Document, including digital libraries

Here's my review, which reviews up to the digital library use-case but
then stops. It includes mostly a number of minor syntactic notes, as a
one  medium-size suggested changes (removing all reference of W3C from
the digital library use-case). I'm hoping Rachel Yager  can write up a
more complete reviews of this use-case document before the meeting, but
this might be a good start.

General linguistic preferences:
1) Not using "etc." because who knows where that leads...
2) I'm tempted to delete the "could" and "would" bit, and just say "Tom
did this, and then he did that with GRDDL" instead of making it sound
too hypothetical.

Abstract:

"Languages)" -> Insert  comma -> "Languages),"

Introduction:

"extracting these valuable data that can then" -> "extracting this
valuable data so that it can"

Use Case #1: Scheduling

"Jane writes a SPARQL query" -> Should this sentence be introduced a
bit, saying something like "Since all four of the friends have
GRDDL-aware calendars, despite their different formats GRDDL can convert
all their calendar data to RDF, which can then be queried using tools
such as the RDF query language SPARQL."

"and [his] own RSS" -> "and [her] own RSS"

DELETE (unless BenA steps in shortly..) PLUS: Select items in a page...

See also: "Put here the link to whatever IanD comes up..."

Use Case #2: Health Care

"using the HTTP PUT method" -> Is this necessary?

"The expense of dual representation is space" -> "The expense of dual
representation as plain-old XML and RDF"

"each study [might]" -> DELETE might

"[This] [would] help" -> DELETE "would" -> "[Using RDF] helps manage."

"residents while trying" -> residents. Kayode finds RDF especial helpful
while trying"

"Each study [might have]" -> "Each study [has]"

"(as XML documents)" -> DELETE parentheses

"a computer-based patient record" -> "for computer-based patient records"

"The residents could" -> Do you mean "resident physicians"?

"the RDF provide him (over XQuery)" -> "having an RDF representation of
the clinical data provides him advantages over just using plain-old XML,
in particular an additional level of interpreation and ability to
integrate data from diverse sources"

"The added complication.." -> "The inherent difficulties of using
multiple XML vocabularies over domains such as clinical data"

Use Case 3: Aggregating Data: Stevphen wants a synthetic review

"so decides" -> "so [he] decides"

"reviews planted" -> "reviews purposively planted"

"can be GRDDL'd into RDF " -> "can use GRDDL, and so be transformed into
RDF"

"(perhaps also a scutter from Stephan's own profile)" -> while I favor
this approach, the audience might not know that "scutter" is code-word
for Semantic Web spider, so let's make that clear or delete the words in
parentehesis.

Overall, this use-case needs a bit more detail, but I assume we can but
whatever BrianS comes up with in "See also"

Use Case 4:

Major Semantic Change: I say "completely drop the W3C" out of this
use-case, since otherwise it is kinda confusing having a IT manager look
at what the W3C *might do* and then get inspired to change her company's
publishing practices. I think it's important.

DELETE all use of "etc." in first paragraph, replace with use of "and"
as in: "products and brochures"

"being publish" -> "being published"

3rd Paragraph:

Adeline decided to use GRDDL and RDF to implement a more efficient
system for the publication of technical reports. The GRDDL-enabled
system relies on Semantic Web technoloiges to allow DC4Plus to generate
a formalized and authoritative list of their products and services in
RDF, updated as a soon as a new product or service is added.

hen this RDF list could be used to generate a number of web pages and
tools including:

    * customized indexes of the products and services list (sorted by
status, by date, by type, by price);
    * statistics and reporting tools on the records of products and
services are provided and rely on SPARQL queries solved against the
metadata extracted from the reports;

These deliverables all rely on shared templates for publishing documents
and including RDFa annotations to mark important data. Then GRDDL
transformations (XSLT stylesheets) extract [this] metadata in RDF. By
crawling the published reports and applying this transformation to them,
a complete and up-to-date RDF index is built from resources distributed
over the organization and then used to [create a central yet flexible
authoritative repository].

"in such architecture" -> "in such [an] architecture"

"Adeline decides.." to "Adeline's implementation of this vision at
DC4Plus can be given in 5 steps:"

That's all for now...

          Thanks!

              harry

-- 
		-harry

Harry Halpin,  University of Edinburgh 
http://www.ibiblio.org/hhalpin 6B522426

Received on Tuesday, 5 September 2006 01:33:04 UTC