Re: Editorial comments about "Web Application Privacy Best Practices"

Josh

Josh

 I've made these changes. Thanks for the review. (some minor comments below)

Thanks

regards, Frederick

Frederick Hirsch
Nokia



On Jun 20, 2012, at 12:05 PM, ext Josh Soref wrote:

> Some of these I noticed while spot checking, but I'm letting MS Word 2010 walk me through the document....
> 
> General note:
> Do we want to say "the user" always instead of "a user"?

changed to "the user", I think it reads better.

> 
> This is classic diff format:
> < old text
>> replacement text
> 
> Note that I'm not including full context as it just makes it harder to read/find/do something
> 
> < anticipates to eventually publish
>> anticipates eventually publishing

done but this will be removed on publication as note.

> 
> < how it will user 
>> how it will use

fixed, thanks

> 
> < remembering a billing address, 
>> remembering a billing address;
> 

done (changed to remembering a billing address; another example is ...)

> < When doing so the service should make it clear to a user which information is retained, how it is used,
>> When doing so the service should make it clear to a user which information is retained and how it is used.


done

> 
> < and give the user an opportunity to correct or remove the information.
>> It should give the user the opportunity to correct or remove the information.
> 

done

> < allow the user to easily view and change these previous decisions.
>> allow the user to easily view and change their previous decisions.
> 

done

> < Focus on usability should improve a service
>> Focusing on usability should improve a service
> 

done


> < choosing a choice that
>> instead making a choice that
> 
done

> 
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Received on Wednesday, 20 June 2012 20:56:12 UTC