RE: Content Transformation Guidelines 1n (Rev 14)

My comments on draft 1n (all minor changes):

Section 2.1:
There is a double period after the first sentence in the third
paragraph.

Section 4.1.1:
(Really nit-picky)  In the second sentence of the second paragraph, the
period should be outside the parentheses, not inside.

Section 4.1.4:
In the second sentence of the second paragraph, there is the text
"...serve stale data but when doing do should notify the user...".  The
word "do" should be "so".

Section 4.1.5.4:
In the first paragraph of the second paragraph, there is no space
between the words "may" and "request".

Section 4.2.3.2:
In the second paragraph, the text "...media types of this representation
by setting the media attribute and set the href attribute to a valid..."
sounds better, I think, if "set the href" is change to "setting the
href".

Same comment applies to the third paragraph of this section (change "set
the href" to "setting the "href").

In the first note, the word "the" before "link" should be removed (I
think).  Actually, I found the text for this note in version 1l to be
easier to understand.  I think a reference to the text "above" makes it
easier to understand which link elements we are talking about.

In general, however, this section is clearer now than in version 1l.

Section 4.3.4:
This section recommends requesting a resource again if it receives a
Vary header referring to one of the altered headers.  However it doesn't
say explicitly that the re-request should use unaltered headers (it is
implied).  To be completely clear, I'd add "with unaltered headers"
after the text "it should request the resource again".

Section: 4.3.6:
In the third bullet, the DOCTYPE examples just seem to appear in the
text with no introduction.  Maybe adding "(such as the DOCTYPE)" after
"...the device or class of device" would make it flow better.

Section 4.3.6.2:
In the first sentence of the first paragraph, shouldn't "the proxies" be
"a proxy"?  In the same sentence, changing "content linked resources" to
"content of linked resources" makes the sentence more readable.

Note B.1:
In the section for a 406 response, I believe there should be an "else"
or "otherwise" before "Re-request with altered headers".



Sean


> -----Original Message-----
> From: public-bpwg-ct-request@w3.org
[mailto:public-bpwg-ct-request@w3.org]
> On Behalf Of Jo Rabin
> Sent: Thursday, July 24, 2008 6:27 AM
> To: public-bpwg-ct
> Subject: Content Transformation Guidelines 1n (Rev 14)
> 
> 
> Hello CT Fans
> 
> I've produced a penultimate editors copy of the LCWD [1] which now
> includes:
> 
> a) Examples, based on contributions by Sean and Rob and modified per
> comments from Bryan (especially mention of Cache-Control: private)
> 
> b) A conformance Statement, which is a Variation on a Theme by Daoust
> 
> c) An updated Acknowledgement List (please indicate anybody who you
> think is missing)
> 
> d) Miscellaneous Editorial "Improvements" including a "human readable"
> fragment id for all the sections that might be externally referenced.
> 
> e) Re-insertion of text about indication of transformation having been
> applied and ability to retrieve unaltered response per the old 3.1
> 
> Diffs to previous versions under: "Previous versions" in the document.
> 
> Please give close attention to this draft. It is the one I would like
us
> to resolve on next Tuesday and for the BP as a whole to request
> transition to LCWD on Thursday next week.
> 
> Thanks
> Jo
> 
> [1]
> http://www.w3.org/2005/MWI/BPWG/Group/TaskForces/CT/editors-
> drafts/Guidelines/080724
>

Received on Monday, 28 July 2008 21:49:13 UTC