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SOAP MTOM Editorial: typos, etc.

From: Tony Graham <Tony.Graham@Sun.COM>
Date: Thu, 26 Jun 2003 15:28:43 +0100
Message-ID: <16123.795.257913.519569@tenso.ireland.sun.com>
To: xml-dist-app@w3.org

General
=======

 - Names of element information items and attribute information items
   should be in monospace text in the manner of the SOAP 1.2
   Recommendations

 - Change "Inclusion Mechanism" to "inclusion mechanism" in text (but
   not titles) since a "Mechanism" is not part of the SOAP terminology
   defined in SOAP 1.2 Part 1

 - SOAP 1.2 Part 1 manages to not include namespace prefixes when
   referring to element information items, at least in part, because
   it prefixes most references with the word 'SOAP', e.g., "The SOAP
   Envelope element information item" instead of "The env:Envelope
   element information item".  Is it possible to do something similar
   to replace the "xbinc:" in "xbinc:Include" in this document?


1. Introduction
===============

 - Paragraph 2: "from" should be removed from "nothing precludes from
   implementing it" (as noted by Noah Mendelsohn in the 25 June
   telcon)

 - Paragraph 2: "binding independent" should be "binding-independent"


1.1 Relation to other specifications
====================================

 - Paragraph 1: "well defined" should be "well-defined"

 - Paragraph 1: in the sentence:

      However, it may be expected that this specification will
      supersede the [SOAP 1.2 Attachment Feature] specification once
      it has reached a stable state.

   it is not completely clear whether the second 'it' is 'this
   specification' or the 'SOAP 1.2 Attachment Feature'.


2.3 Abstract Transmission Optimization Feature Properties
=========================================================

 - Paragraph 1: change "defines a set of properties" to "defines the
   set of properties"

 - Table 1: change "A List" to "A list".

 - Table 1: change the title to "Property definitions for the Abstract
   Transmission Optimization Feature" to match the titles of similar
   tables in SOAP 1.2 Part 2.


2.4.3 Transmitting a message
============================

 - Paragraph 1: change "hop by hop" to "hop-by-hop"


3.1 Introduction
================

 - Paragraph 1: change "The Inclusion Mechanism expand upon" to "The
   inclusion mechanism expands upon"

 - Paragraph 3: change "The second part describe" to "The second part
   describes"

 - Paragraph 3: the second "related" in "a MIME Multipart/Related
   related packaging" may be redundant

 - Paragraph 3: there should be a reference to RFC 2387 here where
   "MIME Multipart/Related" is first used


3.2.2 href attribute
====================

 - Paragraph 1: change "is used to refer the external data" to "is
   used to refer to the external data"


3.3 MIME Multipart Related Serialization
========================================

 - Is it necessary to capitalise "Serialization" in text?


3.3.1 Introduction
==================

 - Paragraph 1: "with element information item serialized in compact
   form" should be either "with an element information item serialized
   in compact form" or "with element information items serialized in
   compact form"


3.3.2 Serialization of a SOAP message
=====================================

 - Paragraph 1: in the sentence:

      The SOAP message is serialized into a MIME Multipart/Related
      ([RFC 2387]) packaging, one body part, the root object, being an
      XML representation of the SOAP envelope, while other body parts
      contains the parts of the SOAP message transmitted in a compact
      form.

   consider changing

      packaging, one body part, the root object, being

   into either

      packaging: one body part, the root object, being

   or even

      packaging: one body part -- the root object -- being

   (where '--' is an ndash or mdash depending on editorial preference)

 - Paragraph 1: in the same sentence, the root object 'is' the XML
   representation but the other parts 'contain' other parts of the
   SOAP message.  Either all parts should 'be' something or all parts
   should 'contain' something.

 - Paragraph 1: change "other body parts contains" to "other body
   parts contain"

 - Item 4: "httpo:Include" probably should be "xbinc:Include"


3.3.3 Deserializing a SOAP message
==================================

 - Paragraph 1: change "the deserializer MUST" to "deserializing
   MUST".  Section 3.3.2 managed to not create a 'serializer', and
   this section should avoid creating a 'deserializer'.

 - Paragraph 1: change "provide an access" to "provide access"

 - List 1, bullet 3, paragraph 2: change "base64 encoded" to
   "base64-encoded"

 - Paragraph 3: change "the deserializer" to "the implementation"

 - List 2, bullet 2: change "if not body part" to "if no body part"


4.1 Introduction
================

 - Paragraph 1: change "is a binding level feature, implementing" to "
   is a binding-level feature implementing"


4.3 Implementation
==================

 - Paragraph 1: change "and put the resulting" to "and puts the
   resulting"


4.3.2 Receiving a SOAP message
==============================

 - Paragraph 1: change "provide an access" to "provide access"


Regards,


Tony Graham
------------------------------------------------------------------------
XML Technology Center - Dublin
Sun Microsystems Ireland Ltd                       Phone: +353 1 8199708
Hamilton House, East Point Business Park, Dublin 3            x(70)19708
Received on Thursday, 26 June 2003 10:26:37 GMT

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