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Re: New WebArch editor's draft

From: Chris Lilley <chris@w3.org>
Date: Sun, 5 Dec 2004 13:07:03 +0100
Message-ID: <414895223.20041205130703@w3.org>
To: noah_mendelsohn@us.ibm.com
Cc: Norman Walsh <Norman.Walsh@Sun.COM>, www-tag@w3.org

On Friday, December 3, 2004, 10:54:58 PM, noah wrote:

nuic> * My recollection of punctuation rules seems to be fading as high
nuic> school recedes into the ancient past, but I'm curious about the
nuic> sentence:

nuic> "In addition a small amount of client side computation is saved."

nuic> Shouldn't there be a comma after "In addition", resulting in:

nuic> "In addition, a small amount of client side computation is
nuic> saved."?


nuic> * Having risked embarrassment regarding my knowledge of
nuic> punctuation, I'll venture a comment relating to grammar. Also in
nuic> section 4.3:

nuic> "On the other hand, recombination on the client makes the
nuic> delivered content applicable to a wider range of devices. This
nuic> improves caching efficiency and gives users more presentation
nuic> options. It can be tailored to particular groups of devices by
nuic> using media specific style sheets."

nuic> I think that the antecedents of the words "This" in the second sentence
nuic> and "It" in the third sentence are ambiguous.  At best I think the
nuic> sentences parse somewhat clumsily.

They are however directly responsive to a review comment and have been
agreed by that reviewer, so need to be edited carefully and with
awareness of the technical uses of certain terms.

nuic>  How about:

nuic> "On the other hand, recombination on the client makes the
nuic> delivered content applicable to a wider range of devices.
nuic> Client-side recombination improves caching efficiency

good edit, clearer,

nuic>  and gives
nuic> users more presentation options. In particular, style sheets

no, that edit removes meaning. Instead I suggest
s/style sheets/media-dependent style sheets/
because that is the term used at

nuic> can be applied at the client to tailor presentations for a variety
nuic> of device types."

I would prefer say
s/device types/groups of target devices/
because again, groups is used with a specific meaning as in

nuic> * Again in Section 4.3:

nuic> "For textual content with a regular and repeating structure, the
nuic> combined size of the text content plus the style sheet is
nuic> typically less than that of a fully recombined content;"

nuic> Delete word "a"?


Lets not forget the following small change also

'... there are two resources: "a report on the current weather in
Oaxaca" and "a report on the weather in Oaxaca on 1 August 2004". The
Oaxaca weather site assigns two URIs to these two different resources.'

as discussed on www-tag in the last day or two.

 Chris Lilley                    mailto:chris@w3.org
 Chair, W3C SVG Working Group
 Member, W3C Technical Architecture Group
Received on Sunday, 5 December 2004 12:07:04 UTC

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