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Re: Arch Doc: 18 September 2003 Editor's Draft

From: Norman Walsh <Norman.Walsh@Sun.COM>
Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2003 16:20:36 -0400
To: www-tag@w3.org
Message-ID: <87he35yju3.fsf@nwalsh.com>

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Editorial and technical comments from section 3 onward.


Section 3, bullet 2 in the first numbered list:


Section 3, first para after the first numbered list:

  s/section will describe/section describes/

Section 3.1, first para:

  s/of a secondary/of another/

Section 3.1, third para:

  Delete "Some of the headers...message metadata." We just said that in
  the previous section.

Section 3.1, fourth para:


Section 3.1, penultimate para:

  s/safe interaction since Nadia/safe interaction; Nadia/

Section 3.3:

  Haven't we got pretty good coverage of the second and third bullets
  elsewhere now?

Section 4, second para after the first bulleted list:

  Suggest: replace the last sentence in that para "This flexibility..." with:

  This flexibility is important because there is constant evolution
  in applications. This evolution results in new data formats and refinements of
  existing formats.

Section 4.1.1, first "story" paragraph:

  s/render the GIF image/render the JPEG image/

Section 4.1.1, second para after the first "story" paragraph:

  s/managers help/managers can help/

Section 4.2, last para:

  s/are very expensive/is expensive/

Section 4.3, first para:

  s/Errors, of course,/Errors /

Section 4.7, sixth para:

  s/reusable agents/reusable data/
  s/no presentation form at all/no final form at all/

Section 4.9, first para:

  s/other resources, via URIs/other resources via URIs/

Section 4.10.1, first para:

  s/It is widely.*is unlikely/It is widely, but not universally applicable
  for format specifications; an audio or video format, for example, is unlikely/

Section 4.10.2, first para:

  s/more combined XML/more XML/

Section 4.10.3, first para:

  s/^More soph/Soph/

Section 4.10.4, first para:

  Suggest, replace "Since the namespace is identified..." to the end
  of the para with:

  Since the namespace is identified by a URI, she asks her browser to
  retrieve a representation of the namespace via that URI. Nadia is
  requesting the *namespace document*.

  She gets back some useful data that allows her to learn more about
  the data format. Nadia's browser may also be able to use data
  optimized for machines12 automatically to perform useful tasks on
  Nadia's behalf, such as download additional agents to process and
  render the format.

Section 4.10.4, first para after the first bulleted list:

  s/support the processing markup/support processing the markup/

Section 4.10.5, bullet 3 of the first numbered list:

  s/PSVI) will successfully/PSVI) may successfully/

Section 4.10.6, second para:

  s/text\/* Web/text\/*, Web/
  s/and will cause/and may cause/

Section 5.1, "Good practice"

  The "em dashes" don't render correctly.

Section 5.1, "Principle"

  I'm not sure the word "law" is really what we want to say, perhaps "rule"?


I'd like a chance to propose some alternate text for Section 4.6 once the
"Versioning" document has received more public feedback.

What's the status of Chris's replacement text for 4.8?

                                        Be seeing you,

- -- 
Norman.Walsh@Sun.COM    | I often marvel that while each man loves
XML Standards Architect | himself more than anyone else, he sets less
Web Tech. and Standards | value on his own estimate than on the
Sun Microsystems, Inc.  | opinions of others.--Marcus Aurelius
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Received on Sunday, 21 September 2003 16:22:19 UTC

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