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RE: Feedback for "An Introduction to Multilingual Web Addresses" -- mostly grammar/proofreading

From: CE Whitehead <cewcathar@hotmail.com>
Date: Mon, 7 Jul 2008 10:16:45 -0400
Message-ID: <BLU109-W4517B50E59AE586574EADAB3940@phx.gbl>
To: <www-international@w3.org>, Richard Ishida <ishida@w3.org>, 'Jens Meiert' <jens@meiert.com>



Hi, I'll comment on "An Introduction to Multilingual Web Addresses"


( http://www.w3.org/International/articles/idn-and-iri/ )


too since Jens Meiert has done so.

First, I love the information on phishing (but since many routers permit redirects & thus all dns traffic can be redirected anyway maybe the only solution is to know your bank's ip address!)


SECTION:
 "Handling the domain name"
2nd paragraph, 1rst sentence:
". . . was agreed
> on
by the ietf in March 2003"


COMMENT:  please insert "on" here after "agreed"
(you can say 'ratified' and then you needn't use 'on')


* * *

SECTION:
"High level overview" (following "Domain registration")

"We give a slightly more detailed worked example in . . . "

COMMENT:  ???


There's a grammatical error here.
Do you mean:


> "We give a slightly more detailed working example . . . "??

* * *
SECTION
"High-level overview" (following "The string matching challenge")

:"The IRI specification uses unicode as a broker"
It would be helpful here if you mentioned that unicode has 3 formats,
utf-8 (which is backwards compatible with ANSI),
utf-16,
and utf-32.

(the most commonly used are utf-8 and utf-16 I think; but
I'm not the expert)

* * *


SECTION:
"Domain Name lookup"

1rst paragraph; 2nd sentence

"These include providers for top level country domains such as .cn, .jp, .kr, etc., and global top level domains such as . . ."

COMMENT:

I think it's important to keep both clauses parallel

> ".  .  . providers for top level country domains such as . . . , and for top level global domains such as . . . "

(I inserted "for" and moved "global" so that it follows "top level" in the second clause, as this is the way you have it in the first clause.)


* * *

Same section; 2nd paragraph, 1rst sentence:


"Client-side support for IDN is appears in the recent . . ."??


COMMENT:


Don't you mean:


> "Client-side support for IDN's appears in the recent . . . "??

(Just take out "is" and make "IDN" plural.)


(I think Jens Meiert already noted this--or a similar error!)


* * *


Same Section, Second to last paragraph:


"This guarantees that the user would be able to link to the resource, whatever platform they used."


COMMENT:

There's nothing wrong with the above sentence; I personally don't like "they"--which sounds plural to me--serving as the gender-neutral 3rd person pronoun; what about


> "whatever platform 
he or she
used" ??


But it's fine, grammatically it's now allowed to use 'they' this way.

SECTION:
"Domain names and phishing"

COMMENT:
I like the idea of reserving all look like domain names to the domain registrant--guess I can't vote here; but I think it is a necessary courtesy to do so.

* * *


SECTION:
"Paths"


Second to last paragraph:


"You can run a basic check whether it works for your client and resource . . ."


COMMENT:


Don't you mean:

> "You can run a basic check to determine whether it works for your client and resource . . ."??


* * *

ALSO:
SECTION:
"Resolving a domain  name"


Paragraph 6; 1rst sentence:
I love the verb lowercased

(never knew it was a verb; no need to change it though; it's precise--though I suppose Orwell would not have liked it much;
some languages use verbs, others nouns--I think Farsi/Persian uses more nouns;
for example [I only know a few sentences/phrases but think my info is accurate]--
one says, "Sop-e farsi mikonid?" to ask, "Do you speak Persian/Farsi?"

Literally it means "Do you do the Persian/Farsi tongue" I think;
you use the same verb, "koni" for "play" when you talk about playing soccer;
I think you construct a lot of verbs with this one verb, but someone will correct me if I'm wrong; thus you do not need that many verbs in Persian; here, you've decided that nouns are really better as verbs and we can dispense with the noun and I actually think I prefer things that way.)


Best,

C. E. Whitehead
cewcathar@hotmail.com 

> From: ishida@w3.org
> To: jens@meiert.com
> CC: www-international@w3.org
> Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:30:46 +0100
> Subject: RE: Feedback for "An Introduction to Multilingual Web Addresses"
>
>
> Hi Jens,
>
> I made corrections as itemised below:
>
> RI
>
> ============
> Richard Ishida
> Internationalization Lead
> W3C (World Wide Web Consortium)
>
> http://www.w3.org/International/
> http://rishida.net/
>
>
>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: jens.meiert@gmail.com [mailto:jens.meiert@gmail.com] On Behalf Of
>> Jens Meiert
>> Sent: 10 June 2008 13:29
>> To: Richard Ishida
>> Cc: www-international@w3.org
>> Subject: Feedback for "An Introduction to Multilingual Web Addresses"
>>
>> Hi Richard,
>>
>>
>> I am feeling free to give quick feedback to "An Introduction to
>> Multilingual Web Addresses"
>> :
>>
>> * "Resolving a domain name": Typo in "xn–" (probably due to automatic
>> conversion of "--" to "–").
>
> Fixed.
>
>>
>> * "Domain Name lookup": Missing "is" in "as a simple fallback solution
>> until IDN widely supported".
>
> Fixed.
>
>>
>> * "Domain names and phishing", "For example, bäcker.com will not work
>> if your language preferences include only English, but will work if
>> you have, say, German or French in your preferences": This is probably
>> even true but confusing nonetheless as, correct me if I'm wrong,
>> French does not contain "a" umlauts. Thus, just referring to German or
>> replacing French by Finnish might be better.
>
> Fixed. Wording now is: " bäcker.com will not work if your language preferences include only English, but will work if you have German in your preferences (or even, say, French, since the accented characters are not language-specific). "
>
>
>>
>> * Dto.: Typo in "devanagari", should start with a capital D.
>
> Fixed.
>
>>
>> However, the document is still a good read, and I could not spot any
>> content-related issues. :)
>
>
> Thanks for your comments.
>
> RI
>
>
Received on Monday, 7 July 2008 14:17:28 GMT

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