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RE: Editorial comments for Part 1, section 1-3

From: Henrik Frystyk Nielsen <henrikn@microsoft.com>
Date: Mon, 9 Dec 2002 14:30:46 -0800
Message-ID: <68B95AA1648D1840AB0083CC63E57AD6097C68E9@red-msg-06.redmond.corp.microsoft.com>
To: "Marc Hadley" <marc.hadley@sun.com>, "Martin Gudgin" <mgudgin@microsoft.com>, <noah_mendelsohn@us.ibm.com>, "Jean-Jacques Moreau" <moreau@crf.canon.fr>, "Nilo Mitra" <EUSNILM@am1.ericsson.se>
Cc: "Anish Karmarkar" <Anish.Karmarkar@oracle.com>, "David Fallside" <fallside@us.ibm.com>, <www-archive@w3.org>


Marc and I went through the remaining of Henrik's issues for Part 1,
section 1-3 and here's what we think we (spec editors) need to do:

>General Comments
>----------------
>
>* In some places we use "fully qualified name". I believe it 
>should be "XML qualified name" instead.

Do it

>* In some of the new text we don't mark the phrases 
>"[attribute|element|...] information item" but in the old 
>text, it shows up as italic. We should either remove the 
>markup or add it to the new text as well.

Add to new text

>Specific Comments
>-----------------
>
>* S1, P1: We use "such" in three places right after each 
>other. Suggest slight reformulation to avoid this

(is P2) Get rid of some of them

>* S1, P3, numbered list: We need a bullet for the 
>extensibility model. Also, I suggest reordering to say
>
>	1. SOAP processing model
>	2. SOAP extensibility model
>	3. SOAP protocol binding framework
>	4. SOAP message construct
>
>as this follows the ToC

Just do it

>* S1.3, P3: Change "defined by Parts 1 and 2" to "defined by 
>Part 1 and 2"

Leave it

>* S1, last P: Add reference to part 2 appendix A (media type 
>definition)

Change to part 2, app A. Check that the bibref SOAP media type isn't
used anywhere else and remove

>* S1.5, SOAP feature: Remove "optional"

Just do it

>* S1.5, SOAP header block: Change "fully qualified name" to 
>"XML qualified name"

Just do it

>* S2, P2: Change "with a feature" to "with a SOAP feature"

Just do it

>* S2, P2: Change "each such feature to define such combined" 
>to "each such SOAP feature to define any combined"

Just do it

>* S2, P3: Flip 1st and 2nd sentence to have them ordered 
>according to ToC

Just do it

>* S2.4, P1: Change "by the combination of [local name] and 
>[namespace]" to "by the XML qualified name"

Just do it

>* S2.4, P2: Change "SOAP header blocks MAY carry 
>mustUnderstand attribute information items" to "A SOAP header 
>block MAY carry a mustUnderstand attribute information item"

Just do it

>* S2.4, P2: Change "the SOAP block is said to be mandatory" 
>with "the SOAP header block is said to be mandatory"

Just do it

>* S2.6, P2 (after numbered list): Change "fully qualified 
>name" to "XML qualified name"

Just do it

>* (NOTE: this may not be seen as strictly editorial) S2.6, P3: 
>This applies to all faults and not just header fault: 
>"Header-related faults other than those related to 
>understanding SOAP header blocks (see 2.4 Understanding SOAP 
>Header Blocks) MUST conform to the specification for the 
>corresponding SOAP header block.".
>
>I suggest saying:
>
>"SOAP faults other than those related to understanding SOAP 
>header blocks (see 2.4 Understanding SOAP Header Blocks) MUST 
>conform to the specification for the corresponding SOAP header 
>block or SOAP body."

Wait but Henrik will send email

>S2.7, P1: Remove "and then expressed as SOAP modules or as 
>part of the underlying protocol binding" as the relationship 
>between modules and features is better described in section 3 and 4.

Just do it

>S2.7.1: This section is very hard to read in the current 
>location because the notion of an intermediary is not 
>introduced before the next section. Also, section 2.7.2 talks 
>about "insert" and "reinsert" which is also used but not 
>described in section 2.7.1. I suggest the following reorg:
>
>A) Reorg the sections as follows:
>
>	2.7.1 Forwarding Intermediaries
>	2.7.2 Relaying SOAP header blocks
>	2.7.3 SOAP Intermediaries and relayed infoset
>	2.7.4 Active Intermediaries
>
>The reason is that 2.7.1-2.7.3 talks about forwarding 
>intermediaries while active intermediaries are somewhat different.
>
>B) (following new numbers) Move the three bullets in 2.7.1 
>into 2.7.2 and replace it with a reference instead.
>
>C) Add a bullet to the three bullets (as bullet 0):
>
>	0) Retain all header blocks not targeted at the forwarding node

Just do it

>S2.7.1, last P: Remove first "In addition"

Just do it

>S2.7.3, P2: Not clear whether this is a requirement or not but 
>I would expect it is and hence change "All Infoset properties 
>of a message need to be" to "All Infoset properties of a 
>message MUST be"

Part of Marc's mail.

>S2.7.3: Add "" around URIs for c14n

Just do it

>S2.7.3: Update references (two) to section 2.7 to the proper 
>sub-section.

Depends on outcome from Marc's mail

>S2.8: P1: Change "the qualified name" to "the XML qualified name"

Just do it

>S3.1, last P: Change "hop-to-hop" with "hop-by-hop"

Just do it

>S3.3, bullet 3: Change "SOAP Processing model" to "SOAP 
>processing model"

Just do it

>Henrik Frystyk Nielsen
>mailto:henrikn@microsoft.com
>
Received on Monday, 9 December 2002 17:31:29 GMT

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