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Re: Editorial comments for BAD

From: Shadi Abou-Zahra <shadi@w3.org>
Date: Thu, 13 Oct 2011 10:38:20 +0200
Message-ID: <4E96A37C.1070808@w3.org>
To: Cliff Tyllick <Cliff.Tyllick@tceq.texas.gov>
CC: wai-eo-editors@w3.org
Hi Cliff,

On 7.10.2011 20:01, Cliff Tyllick wrote:
> You're welcome, Shadi!
> I just realized I hit "Send" before I gave examples of first words that need to be capped in sentences that follow a run-in heading. Every one of those is in the Overview.
> Near the top of the page, "Note: This Demo..." instead of "Note: this Demo..."


> Near the bottom of the page, the first roman letter following each bolded head in the bulleted list under "Using the Demo."


> Come to think of it, "Using This Demo" would be a stronger heading there.

We can discuss for future revisions but I would not like to revert a 
previous group decision without further discussion.

> That's it for those errors in the main content. Others:
> On the Survey:
> Under "Favorite Park," it should be "Jurassic," not "Jurrasic"


> "Favorite" seems to be American at the top of the page (Favorite Park) and British at the bottom ("favourite and least favourite organ"). Shouldn't we be consistent? Our subject-verb agreement follows the British convention, so our favourite should, too.

We use US-spelling but had a UK writer (Liam). I've taken a pass at 
ensuring US-spelling; let me know if you find other issues.

> On Tickets, do we mean to be misspelling Thelonious Monk's last name?

Yes -- intentionally misspelled all names to avoid any conflicts.

> Finally for now, on the News page, Accessible version, explanatory notes:
> Note 03, "Times New Roman," not "Times new Roman"
> Notes 05 and 10: Capitalize "the" after "Note:"

Fixed both.

> Once again, tiny stuff. Great work!

Thank you for your input!


> Cliff
>>>> On 10/7/2011 at 11:59 AM, in message<4E8F2FD8.2090807@w3.org>, Shadi Abou-Zahra<shadi@w3.org>  wrote:
> Thank you Cliff, all fixed.
> Thanks,
>     Shadi
> On 7.10.2011 17:55, Cliff Tyllick wrote:
>> On the Survey page, it should be "This Week's" instead of "This Weeks's" in both headings.
>> On the home page, we need to remove the word "down" from the blurb under "Lack of brains hinders research." In other words, it should read:
>> Brain donations: huge drop off in brain donations due to the 'success' of 'Slow Traffic, Safe Streets' policy
>> not:
>> Brain donations: huge drop off in brain donations down due to the 'success' of 'Slow Traffic, Safe Streets' policy
>> Throughout the document, the first word in each sentence that follows a run-in headings should be capped. For example,
>> On the "News" page, in the last sentence under the heading "Tough Wahoonie," the word "Ordnance" should be "ordinance." ("Ordnance" is explosives; "ordinance" is a type of law.)
>> In the same sentence, "City" and "Winter" should be lower case; they are not proper nouns.
>> Similarly, in the second column, these words are not proper nouns and should be lower case:
>> in all stories, Mayor (except where the mayor's name immediately follows it)
>> in the first story:
>> Judge
>> Judges
>> Trombone Forgery
>> On the same page, there is an extra period at the end of "Your Shout."
>> On the same page, the last word should be "off," not "in."
>> If I have time to view the other pages, I will send edits for them, too.
>> Thanks!
>> Cliff
>> Cliff Tyllick
>> Usability assessment coordinator
>> Agency Communications Division
>> Texas Commission on Environmental Quality
>> 512-239-4516
>> Cliff.Tyllick@tceq.texas.gov
>> How is our customer service ( http://www.tceq.texas.gov/goto/customersurvey )?

Shadi Abou-Zahra - http://www.w3.org/People/shadi/
Activity Lead, W3C/WAI International Program Office
Evaluation and Repair Tools Working Group (ERT WG)
Research and Development Working Group (RDWG)
Received on Thursday, 13 October 2011 08:38:48 UTC

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