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Comments on Business Case - Social Factors page

From: Charmane K. Corcoran <corcora1@msu.edu>
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 11:06:46 -0400
Message-Id: <a05210600bca4475dbec4@[35.12.17.178]>
To: "wai eo editors" <wai-eo-editors@w3.org>

1. Under: Identifying Social Factors for a Specific Organization - 
Are there other programs or initiatives within the organization that 
overlap with social factors?  The section that says "(and want to 
attract investors interested in socially responsible investing 
(SRI))."

Usually there  is a hierarchy of parens and you do not use the same 
paren twice i.e. it would be [(text)] or something like that.  There 
are a couple of other places this occurs. I don't know what editing 
style you are using (APA, Chicago, some European style or or none but 
in any case it is generally not acceptable to use identical parens 
next to each other.)

2. Under: Identifying Social Factors for a Specific Organization - 
Does the organization target other groups that benefit from Web 
accessbility? Last line "internet" should be capitalized.

3. Web Accessibility is a Social Issue - Web Accessibility is 
Essential for Equal Opportunity   - Therefore, an accessible Web that 
allows people with disabilities to actively participate is essential 
for equal opportunities in many areas.

A clearer read might be:
Therefore in many areas, an accessible Web that allows people with 
disabilities to actively participate is essential for equal 
opportunities in many areas.

Less Desirable Options:

Therefore, in many areas an accessible Web that allows people with 
disabilities to actively participate in many areas is essential for 
equal opportunities.

Therefore, an accessible Web that allows people with disabilities to 
actively participate in many areas is essential for equal 
opportunities.


4. Web Accessibility Benefits People with and without Disabilities
Below are examples of aspects of Web accessibility that benefit others.
Access for Older People

Remove the double preposition, "of", by inserting one of the following wordsŠ.

The examples below represent/convey/demonstrate/show aspects of Web 
accessibility that benefit others.


5. Access for People with Low Bandwidth Connections to the Internet 
and Older Technologies

   (for example, mobile phone or personal data assistant (PDA)),


Same issue as #1 above: determine style to eliminate  use of same 
parens  in double scenario.



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Charmane K. Corcoran
Information & Project Principal
Michigan State University
Client Advocacy Office
316A Computer Center
East Lansing MI 48824

E-mail:	corcora1@msu.edu
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Received on Thursday, 15 April 2004 12:41:51 GMT

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