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RE: EOWG: Please read/review latest business case draft before 2 April 2004 teleconference

From: Shawn Lawton Henry <shawn@w3.org>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 2004 16:25:29 -0500
To: "'Chuck Letourneau'" <cpl@starlingweb.com>
Cc: "wai eo editors" <wai-eo-editors@w3.org>
Message-ID: <000001c42267$02d780b0$418d7544@SLHenry>

Chuck,

Thank you for your review and comments on the business case. I will post
a revised version with your changes and other's changes soon. 

Replies to your comments are below surrounded by brackets []. Let me
know if you want to discuss any of them.

Regards,

~ Shawn


[thanks] 1. Overview: New version - posted late yesterday afternoon - I
like it. 

[added to changelog as issue to address] 2. Social -- Barriers to Web
Use -- bullet  4: To me, the link isn't clear between  "society's low
expectations" and the  following "lack of opportunities for training".
Could/should this be separate bullets,  with a short expansion on
whatever we mean by "society's low expectations" in  this context?

[I do! but one person said it wasn't necessary. since you bring it up
again and I  don't think the group discussed it, I added to changelog as
issue to address] 3.  Social/Technical/Financial/Legal  -- with the
exception of the Legal page, I find the  sudden end of each document
after its last bullet to be very abrupt and - from a  narrative
standpoint - unsatisfying.  Does anyone else think that a short
paragraph of summation, or a sentence conveying "Well... now you have
the  w-factor building blocks for your business case. If you haven't
already done so,  visit our x-factor, y-factor and z-factor pages for
more great stuff." would be of  use?

[DONE] 4. Technical -- Reduce Site... -- bullet 1: I agree with @@ need
to explain...

[DONE] 5. Technical -- Reduce Site... -- bullet 3: I agree with @@ need
to explain...

[DONE] 6. Technical -- Reduce Server... -- bullet 1: "... by using text
rather than  images." @@ add "of text" or  change images to "bitmapped
images of text".   Otherwise, literalists might assume we we are asking
that all images ought to be  replaced by text.

[DONE, first time, then even more simple: "by using markup for
structure..."] 7.  Technical -- Enable -- bullet 3: @@ HTML for
structure... -- how about: @@  appropriate mark up (e.g. HTML, XHTML,
etc.) for structure...

[DONE] 8. Technical -- Be Prepared -- bullet 1: Would a definition or
alternative  phrase be available for "syndication of information"?  That
is a bit of jargon I am  not familiar with, although I suspect it is
equivalent to the amazingly nasty  "multi-utilization of information".

[DONE] 9. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 1 -- last sentence: Delete.
I think that  statement is redundant.

[DONE, made it even more to the point: "Is the organization starting a
new Web  development or redesign effort?"] 10. Financial -- Identifying
-- bullet 3 -- Does  the question read better as "At what stage is the
organization's Web  development?" or "What stage is the organization's
Web development at?" ?

[we mean "additional servers and personnel" as in, additional machines
and  people] 11. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 4 -- "... cost
savings in additional  servers and in personnel..." -- don't we mean
"... cost savings from reducing the  need for additional servers
personnel..."?

[DONE] 12. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 4 -- sub-bullet 1: delete
"possibly".

[DONE] 13. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 4 -- sub-bullet 1: maybe
just  "potential costs" rather than "potential legal costs" because you
are in the same  sentence "defending against legal action".

[DONE, edited & tried to clarify] 14. Financial -- On-Going Costs --
Additional  development time: I haven't a clue what this paragraph is
saying. Can't think of a  good rewrite either.

[DONE] 15. Legal -- Education -- para 1: delete "national". E.g. in
Canada education is  covered by Provincial requirements.  Just
"government requirements" would be  sufficient and inclusive.

[DONE, EOWG agreed no tot tackle them] 16. References -- too drafty for
comments.




-----Original Message-----
From: w3c-wai-eo-request@w3.org [mailto:w3c-wai-eo-request@w3.org] On
Behalf Of Chuck Letourneau
Sent: Friday, April 02, 2004 6:07 AM
To: w3c-wai-eo@w3.org
Subject: Re: EOWG: Please read/review latest business case draft before
2 April 2004 teleconference


At 2004-03-31 18:18, you wrote:

We are close to wrapping up the business case resource suite.
        http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/
Please review and comment on the full resource suite before our
teleconference this week. 


1. Overview: New version - posted late yesterday afternoon - I like it. 

2. Social -- Barriers to Web Use -- bullet 4: To me, the link isn't
clear between  "society's low expectations" and the following "lack of
opportunities for training". Could/should this be separate bullets, with
a short expansion on whatever we mean by "society's low expectations" in
this context?

3. Social/Technical/Financial/Legal  -- with the exception of the Legal
page, I find the sudden end of each document after its last bullet to be
very abrupt and - from a narrative standpoint - unsatisfying.  Does
anyone else think that a short paragraph of summation, or a sentence
conveying "Well... now you have the w-factor building blocks for your
business case. If you haven't already done so, visit our x-factor,
y-factor and z-factor pages for more great stuff." would be of use?

4. Technical -- Reduce Site... -- bullet 1: I agree with @@ need to
explain...

5. Technical -- Reduce Site... -- bullet 3: I agree with @@ need to
explain...

6. Technical -- Reduce Server... -- bullet 1: "... by using text rather
than images." @@ add "of text" or  change images to "bitmapped images of
text".  Otherwise, literalists might assume we we are asking that all
images ought to be replaced by text.

7. Technical -- Enable -- bullet 3: @@ HTML for structure... -- how
about: @@ appropriate mark up (e.g. HTML, XHTML, etc.) for structure...

8. Technical -- Be Prepared -- bullet 1: Would a definition or
alternative phrase be available for "syndication of information"?  That
is a bit of jargon I am not familiar with, although I suspect it is
equivalent to the amazingly nasty "multi-utilization of information".

9. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 1 -- last sentence: Delete. I
think that statement is redundant.

10. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 3 -- Does the question read
better as "At what stage is the organization's Web development?" or
"What stage is the organization's Web development at?" ?

11. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 4 -- "... cost savings in
additional servers and in personnel..." -- don't we mean "... cost
savings from reducing the need for additional servers personnel..."?

12. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 4 -- sub-bullet 1: delete
"possibly".

13. Financial -- Identifying -- bullet 4 -- sub-bullet 1: maybe just
"potential costs" rather than "potential legal costs" because you are in
the same sentence "defending against legal action".

14. Financial -- On-Going Costs -- Additional development time: I
haven't a clue what this paragraph is saying. Can't think of a good
rewrite either.

15. Legal -- Education -- para 1: delete "national". E.g. in Canada
education is covered by Provincial requirements.  Just "government
requirements" would be sufficient and inclusive.

16. References -- too drafty for comments.

Cheers,
Chuck Letourneau
Starling Access Services. 
Received on Wednesday, 14 April 2004 17:25:34 GMT

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