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RE: business case comments

From: Shawn Lawton Henry <shawn@w3.org>
Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2004 13:30:49 -0500
To: <lcohen@usm.maine.edu>
Cc: "wai eo editors" <wai-eo-editors@w3.org>
Message-ID: <000001c42185$71d75180$418d7544@SLHenry>

Libby,

Thank you for your review and comments on the business case. I will post
a revised version with your changes and other's changes soon. 

My replies to your comments are below surrounded by brackets []. I have
questions on a couple of them. Feel free to respond via e-mail or phone,
whichever is easiest. My direct # is 608.243.1089.

Regards,

~ Shawn



[DONE, changed to customized] On the page:
http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/Overview.html
Should the term "custom" be used in the heading "Developing a Custom
Business  Case"? If we want to use this meaning, then the word should be
"customized." 
[although the examples are for different environments, the main point of
the  section and the 3 paragraphs under the heading is the idea of
customizing a  bcase. thay say: "A customized business case for a
specific organization will have different content and style, and
incorporate different aspects with different emphasis, focused on that
particular organization. To help guide development of a  customized
business case... each start with questions to help identify how these
factors apply to a specific organization." Do you think that needs to be
communicated better? or OK as is?] But, I don't think that this section
speaks to  "customized." It addresses the business case in various
environments. 

[DONE, changed to "on"] On the page:
http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/tech.html
The heading says "Enable Content on Different Configurations." But the
text below  the heading says "in different configurations." Which is
correct "on" or "in"?

[DONE] On the page: http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/tech.html
Beneath the heading "Be Prepared for Advanced Technologies," change "as
follows" to "such as" or "for example."

[I am considering revising this and others to be consistent. Could you
provide  your reasons for the suggested revision, and how it applies to
the others at that  level.] On the page:
http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/fin.html
Change the heading "Decreases cost of translating" to "Decreases Costs
of  Translations."

[changed to "Is the organization starting a new Web development or
redesign  effort?"] http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/fin.html
Suggest change heading "What stage is the organization's development?"
to "At  which stage is the organization's development?" or "When should
organizations  address accessibility?"



> -----Original Message-----
> From: w3c-wai-eo-request@w3.org 
> [mailto:w3c-wai-eo-request@w3.org] On Behalf Of Libby Cohen
> Sent: Saturday, April 10, 2004 4:21 PM
> To: EOWG
> Subject: business case comments
> 
> 
> 
> I am responding to the questions that Shawn posed on April 2, 
> 2004. I really like format and I think that the topics are in 
> the appropriate sections. Here are a few suggestions:
> 
> On the page: http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/Overview.html
> Should the term "custom" be used in the heading "Developing a 
> Custom Business Case"? If we want to use this meaning, then 
> the word should be "customized." But, I don't think that this 
> section speaks to "customized." It addresses the business 
> case in various environments. 
> 
> On the page: http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/tech.html
> The heading says "Enable Content on Different 
> Configurations." But the text below the heading says "in 
> different configurations." Which is correct "on" or "in"?
> 
> On the page: http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/tech.html
> Beneath the heading "Be Prepared for Advanced Technologies," 
> change "as follows" to "such as" or "for example."
> 
> On the page: http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/fin.html
> Change the heading "Decreases cost of translating" to 
> "Decreases Costs of Translations."
> 
http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/fin.html
Suggest change heading "What stage is the organization's development?"
to "At which stage is the organization's development?" or "When should
organizations address accessibility?"

Libby Cohen
Received on Tuesday, 13 April 2004 15:16:31 GMT

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