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Comments for PR-xmldsig-core-20010820

From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
Date: Mon, 3 Sep 2001 00:59:59 -0700
Message-Id: <p05100302b7b8e68f93b7@[192.168.123.102]>
To: dee3@torque.pothole.com, reagle@w3.org, dsolo@alum.mit.edu
Cc: w3c-ietf-xmldsig@w3.org
Re: http://www.w3.org/TR/2001/PR-xmldsig-core-20010820/

Congratulations on your Proposed Recommendation. It looks great.
Thank you for many improvements! Here are minor editorial comments.
Best wishes for your project.


10 of the links to RFCs are ftp://ftp.isi.edu/in-notes/rfcNNNN.txt and
53 are http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfcNNNN.txt. I would make them all match
unless there is a reason not to.

Where capitalized without markup, Transforms could be
<code>Transforms</code> throughout.

In the Status section, watch links inside parentheses:
XML Signature Working Group(W3C ->
XML Signature Working Group (W3C

Interoperability Report)</a>. ->
Interoperability Report</a>).

(archive ) ->
(archive)

also in the TOC, 2.1
References ) ->
References)

interopable ->
interoperable

W3C Advisory Committee Members ->
W3C Advisory Committee representatives


Below, a section number is followed by a quote and then a suggestion.

1.1
provides a XML Schema
provides an XML schema

keywords
key words (or make all occurrences one word)

XML-namespace
XML namespace

1.4 (to match the Process document..)
working group
Working Group

last call
Last Call

2.1.1
XML Schema validation
XML schema validation

In 3.2.1 Reference Validation, the phrase "For each Reference in
SignedInfo:" is part of (1) and could refer to (2) or it could refer to
(2), (3), and (4). I would make phrase (2), with (2,3,4) as (1), (2),
(3), under it.

4.3.3.2
applied (See Transforms (section 4.3.3.1).)
applied. (See Transforms (section 4.3.3.1).)

4.3.3.3
Canonical XML
Canonical XML [XML-C14N]

invoke it's own
invoke its own

4.3.3.4
Seee
See

4.4
all-together
altogether

4.4.2.1
[DSS] needs a link to #ref-DSS (twice)

avilable
available

4.4.4
approriate
appropriate

unicode
Unicode (twice)

occurences
occurrences (twice)

this DTD and schema permits
this DTD and schema permit

4.4.7
elemet
element

4.5
normatiave
normative

6.4.2
concatentation
concatenation

6.5
NOTE
Note

6.6.6
name-space
namespace

presense
presence

7.0
xml
XML

7.1
(5C)
(5.3)

7.2
The Simple API for XML
the Simple API for XML

7.3
xml
XML

8.1
tranforms
transforms

8.1.1
i.e,.
i.e.

8.1.3
Referenceotherwise
Reference otherwise

This sentence is too long:
   As a result of this, while we RECOMMEND all documents operated upon
   and generated by signature applications be in [NFC,
   NFC-Corrigendum] (otherwise intermediate processors might
   unintentionally break the signature) encoding normalizations SHOULD
   NOT be done as part of a signature transform, or (to state it
   another way) if normalization does occur, the application SHOULD
   always "see" (operate over) the normalized form.
What about a 'ul' (and removing the "we" which is hard to translate)?
As a result:
* All documents operated upon and generated by signature applications
   MUST be in [NFC, NFC-Corrigendum], otherwise intermediate
   processors might unintentionally break the signature.
* Encoding normalizations SHOULD NOT be done as part of a signature
   transform, or, to state it another way, if normalization does
   occur, the application SHOULD always "see" (operate over) the
   normalized form.

10.0
behaviour
behavior

11.
Some of the references' titles are followed by " .", some by ".", and
some by " ". I would make them all match.

SAX needs a full stop before the author's name.

In DOM, the most recent Recommendation is Level 2 in 5 parts all dated
13 November 2000.

In RDF, the specs' titles should read "Resource Description Framework
(RDF) Schema Specification 1.0" and "Resource Description Framework
(RDF) Model and Syntax Specification".

In SOAP, the most recent version is the WD (not Note) "SOAP Version
1.2".

In URL, the authors' names are given in quasi-RFC style (family,
initial, family, initial, initial, family). Unless you want to do this
for every RFC (in which case you'd need to fix Masinter), I would say
"T. Berners-Lee, L. Masinter, and M. McCahill."

In XHTML, the most recent Recommendation is "XHTML(tm) 1.1 -
Module-based XHTML".

XLink is a Recommendation now.

XML is now "Extensible Markup Language (XML) 1.0 (Second Edition)"
adding E. Maler as an editor.

M. Murata's family name is capitalized in XML-Japanese and not in
XML-MT. I would go one way or the other.

In XML-ns, Janaury -> January

In XSL, the most recent version is a PR (no longer a CR).
Received on Monday, 3 September 2001 04:00:39 UTC

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