Comments on January 30, 2014 working draft

Hi Team,

Hope this is not too late. Some comments from Mary Jo and me. Hoping these
tables and links come through HTML okay. They are aligned with the
disposition of comments tables we've been using.

Have a great weekend!
Moe

Mary Jo's comments:
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Location         |Current Text     |Suggested Text   |Rationale        |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Introduction     |First paragraph, |I would rather   |PDF is not a     |
|                 |the sentence says|see something    |technology used  |
|                 |‘…and the        |like JavaScript  |to create a      |
|                 |technologies used|or CSS there.    |website; it is   |
|                 |to create it     |                 |content that     |
|                 |(e.g. HTML, PDF, |                 |could be         |
|                 |etc.)…’          |                 |contained on a   |
|                 |                 |                 |website.         |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Purposes for this|Fifth bullet says|Grammar needs to |Grammatical      |
|Methodology:     |‘Web             |be changed       |                 |
|                 |accessibility    |‘activities’     |                 |
|                 |monitoring       |aren’t a ‘who’.  |                 |
|                 |activities who   |Suggest saying   |                 |
|                 |want to          |‘activities used |                 |
|                 |benchmark…’      |to benchmark ’.  |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Relation to WCAG |2nd paragraph,   |‘using this      |Grammatical      |
|2.0 Conformance  |replace ‘into’   |methodology alone|                 |
|Claims:          |with ‘in’, ‘using|does not result  |                 |
|                 |this methodology |in WCAG...”      |                 |
|                 |alone does not   |                 |                 |
|                 |result into WCAG’|                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Terms and        |· Definition for|It would be      |                 |
|Definitions:     |common web pages |useful if the    |                 |
|                 |says: ‘Common web|‘web page states’|                 |
|                 |pages may also be|linked to the    |                 |
|                 |web page states  |definition that  |                 |
|                 |in web           |comes later in   |                 |
|                 |applications.’   |the list.        |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Terms and        |Essential        | Should it be ‘N |                 |
|Definitions:     |functionality    |ote: Examples of |                 |
|                 |definition first |essential        |                 |
|                 |note says: ‘Note:|functionality’?  |                 |
|                 |Examples of      |On the same note |                 |
|                 |functionality’.  |should ‘filling  |                 |
|                 |                 |and submitting’  |                 |
|                 |                 |be ‘filling in   |                 |
|                 |                 |and submitting’  |                 |
|                 |                 |or instead       |                 |
|                 |                 |‘completing and  |                 |
|                 |                 |submitting’?     |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Terms and        |Evaluation       |Should           |Seems that a     |
|Definitions:     |commissioner     |‘monitoring      |monitoring survey|
|                 |definition:      |survey’ be       |is not a person  |
|                 |                 |‘monitoring      |equivalent to a  |
|                 |                 |survey owner’?   |‘commissioner’.  |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Terms and        |Web page states  |Suggest changing |Syntactical      |
|Definitions:     |note:            |‘depending on    |                 |
|                 |                 |users input’ to  |                 |
|                 |                 |‘depending on the|                 |
|                 |                 |user’s input’.   |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Required         |Minor edit -     | to be ‘This     |Minor            |
|expertise:       |Suggest changing |includes an      |                 |
|                 |‘This includes   |understanding of |                 |
|                 |understanding of |relevant web…’ or|                 |
|                 |relevant web…’   |‘This includes   |                 |
|                 |                 |understanding    |                 |
|                 |                 |relevant web…’   |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Required         |Another minor    |to …people with  |Minor            |
|expertise:       |edit since this  |disabilities use,|                 |
|                 |sentence is so   |as well as       |                 |
|                 |long and contains|evaluation       |                 |
|                 |three ‘and’s –   |techniques,      |                 |
|                 |Suggest changing |tools, and…’     |                 |
|                 |‘…people with    |                 |                 |
|                 |disabilities use,|                 |                 |
|                 |and evaluation   |                 |                 |
|                 |techniques,      |                 |                 |
|                 |tools, and…’     |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Required         |Last sentence,   |to say ‘…listed  |Grammatical      |
|expertise:       |suggest editing  |in the section   |                 |
|                 |‘…listed in      |Background       |                 |
|                 |section          |Reading.’        |                 |
|                 |Background       |                 |                 |
|                 |Reading.’        |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Scope of         |Examples of      |so it reads      |Grammatical      |
|applicability:   |websites last    |‘…regardless of  |                 |
|                 |paragraph – add  |whether or not…’ |                 |
|                 |‘of’ to          |                 |                 |
|                 |‘…regardless     |                 |                 |
|                 |whether or not…’ |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Particular types |Suggest          |                 |Editorial        |
|of websites:     |simplifying the  |                 |                 |
|                 |section title to |                 |                 |
|                 |‘Types of        |                 |                 |
|                 |websites’        |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Particular types |Website using    |Needs replacement|Editorial        |
|of websites:     |responsive design|before publishing|                 |
|                 |is missing its   |this as a note.  |                 |
|                 |content.         |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Particular       |Suggest          |                 |Editorial        |
|Evaluation       |simplifying the  |                 |                 |
|Contexts:        |section title to |                 |                 |
|                 |‘Evaluation      |                 |                 |
|                 |contexts’        |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Particular       |Evaluating       |to be ‘When      |Editorial        |
|Evaluation       |composite        |evaluating       |                 |
|Contexts         |websites -       |websites with    |                 |
|                 |Suggest changing |separable areas,’|                 |
|                 |‘When evaluating |so the link text |                 |
|                 |websites that are|matches the      |                 |
|                 |composed of      |definition.      |                 |
|                 |separable areas,’|                 |                 |
|                 |                 |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Particular       |Evaluating third |This section is  |Keep in line with|
|Evaluation       |party content –  |about evaluation |WCAG wording.    |
|Contexts         |There are two    |considerations   |                 |
|                 |statements saying|for this type of |                 |
|                 |‘When such       |content, not how |                 |
|                 |content is       |to apply         |                 |
|                 |regularly        |conformance      |                 |
|                 |monitored and    |statements which |                 |
|                 |repaired (within |is already       |                 |
|                 |two business     |clearly covered  |                 |
|                 |days)…,’  and    |by WCAG.   If the|                 |
|                 |‘Otherwise the   |last sentence is |                 |
|                 |non-conforming   |kept, the wording|                 |
|                 |content needs to |‘needs to be’    |                 |
|                 |be clearly       |should really be |                 |
|                 |identified in the|‘may be’ which   |                 |
|                 |web pages in     |matches the WCAG |                 |
|                 |which it         |wording.         |                 |
|                 |appears.’        |Suggest instead  |                 |
|                 |                 |coming up with   |                 |
|                 |                 |some verbiage    |                 |
|                 |                 |about the        |                 |
|                 |                 |evaluation being |                 |
|                 |                 |more difficult   |                 |
|                 |                 |for third party  |                 |
|                 |                 |content similar  |                 |
|                 |                 |to the verbiage  |                 |
|                 |                 |under 3rd party  |                 |
|                 |                 |evaluation –     |                 |
|                 |                 |since this is 3rd|                 |
|                 |                 |party created    |                 |
|                 |                 |content, the     |                 |
|                 |                 |evaluator will   |                 |
|                 |                 |have little      |                 |
|                 |                 |information about|                 |
|                 |                 |the third party  |                 |
|                 |                 |content was      |                 |
|                 |                 |developed which  |                 |
|                 |                 |makes it more    |                 |
|                 |                 |difficult to     |                 |
|                 |                 |evaluate. You    |                 |
|                 |                 |could make       |                 |
|                 |                 |suggestions on   |                 |
|                 |                 |how often        |                 |
|                 |                 |evaluation of    |                 |
|                 |                 |third party      |                 |
|                 |                 |content should be|                 |
|                 |                 |made.            |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Particular       |Evaluating third |                 |Question         |
|Evaluation       |party content –  |                 |                 |
|Contexts         |Do you consider  |                 |                 |
|                 |links on a web   |                 |                 |
|                 |page that link to|                 |                 |
|                 |third party      |                 |                 |
|                 |content to be in |                 |                 |
|                 |scope for the    |                 |                 |
|                 |evaluation, or is|                 |                 |
|                 |it just embedded |                 |                 |
|                 |content that was |                 |                 |
|                 |created by a     |                 |                 |
|                 |third party?     |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Evaluation       |First paragraph  |Should that say  |                 |
|Procedure:       |says: ‘Some of   |‘Some of the     |                 |
|                 |the activities   |activities can   |                 |
|                 |overlap’.        |overlap’?        |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 1.d:        |Third sentence   | Suggest         |                 |
|                 |says: ‘However,  |replacing        |                 |
|                 |it is not        |‘necessary’ with |                 |
|                 |necessary to use |‘required’ so the|                 |
|                 |these particular |phrase reads:    |                 |
|                 |techniques…’     |‘However, it is  |                 |
|                 |                 |not required to  |                 |
|                 |                 |use these        |                 |
|                 |                 |particular       |                 |
|                 |                 |techniques…’     |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 1.d:        |‘inline’         |Should be ‘in    |                 |
|                 |                 |line’            |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 1.d:        |2nd paragraph,   |reads easier if  |                 |
|                 |first sentence   |stated like this:|                 |
|                 |                 |‘During this     |                 |
|                 |                 |step, particular |                 |
|                 |                 |evaluation       |                 |
|                 |                 |methods are      |                 |
|                 |                 |defined, if any  |                 |
|                 |                 |are to be used.” |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.b:        |Examples: minor  |First bullet     |                 |
|                 |edits.           |should say ‘…from|                 |
|                 |                 |the web shop;’   |                 |
|                 |                 |and the second   |                 |
|                 |                 |bullet should say|                 |
|                 |                 |‘Completing and  |                 |
|                 |                 |submitting…”     |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.c:        |Minor edit to 2nd| should read     |                 |
|                 |sentence: ‘They  |‘They are often…’|                 |
|                 |are also often…’ |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.c:        |2nd paragraph,   |‘…types of web   |since the        |
|                 |minor edit:      |pages…’          |adjective is     |
|                 |rather than      |                 |plural, the noun |
|                 |‘…type of web    |                 |should be plural.|
|                 |page’            |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.c:        |All bullets      |Suggestion for   |because there are|
|                 |starting with    |the bullets is to|several instances|
|                 |"Content with..."|start each bullet|of ‘Content with |
|                 |                 |with ‘Web pages…’|…content’ which  |
|                 |                 |rather than      |is a little      |
|                 |                 |‘Content…’       |harder to        |
|                 |                 |                 |understand.      |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.c:        |· 2nd bullet:   |Suggest splitting|                 |
|                 |                 |this bullet to   |                 |
|                 |                 |two bullets, one |                 |
|                 |                 |talking about    |                 |
|                 |                 |structural       |                 |
|                 |                 |elements such as |                 |
|                 |                 |forms, tables,   |                 |
|                 |                 |lists and        |                 |
|                 |                 |headings.        |                 |
|                 |                 |Scripting is     |                 |
|                 |                 |already covered  |                 |
|                 |                 |in the 4th       |                 |
|                 |                 |bullet. The      |                 |
|                 |                 |second bullet    |                 |
|                 |                 |should cover     |                 |
|                 |                 |things like      |                 |
|                 |                 |embedded content |                 |
|                 |                 |such as          |                 |
|                 |                 |multimedia and   |                 |
|                 |                 |embedded         |                 |
|                 |                 |documents (.pdf, |                 |
|                 |                 |etc.).           |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.c:        |Bullets 6, 7, and|so they read     |Grammatical      |
|                 |8 minor edit: In |‘Content that is |                 |
|                 |US English       |authored…’ or    |                 |
|                 |‘content’ is a   |‘Content that is |                 |
|                 |singular word, so|created…’        |                 |
|                 |you should use   |                 |                 |
|                 |‘is’ rather than |                 |                 |
|                 |‘are’            |                 |                 |
|                 |                 |                 |                 |
|                 |                 |                 |                 |
|                 |                 |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.c:        |Next to last     |‘Content that    |Grammatical      |
|                 |bullet minor     |changes the      |                 |
|                 |edit: instead of |appearance…’     |                 |
|                 |‘Content that    |                 |                 |
|                 |change           |                 |                 |
|                 |appearance’      |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.c:        |Last bullet minor|should read ‘web |Editorial        |
|                 |edit: ‘Content   |                 |                 |
|                 |with dynamic     |                 |                 |
|                 |content…’        |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.c:        |None of the      |                 |Comment          |
|                 |bulleted examples|                 |                 |
|                 |cover what kinds |                 |                 |
|                 |of web page      |                 |                 |
|                 |states the       |                 |                 |
|                 |evaluator should |                 |                 |
|                 |look for.        |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.d:        |Minor edit in the|                 |Minor, typo      |
|                 |Note: ‘jQuery’   |                 |                 |
|                 |has a lowercase  |                 |                 |
|                 |j.               |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.e:        |Methodology      |                 |Typo             |
|                 |requirement      |                 |                 |
|                 |number says ‘3.c’|                 |                 |
|                 |but this is the  |                 |                 |
|                 |‘2.e’            |                 |                 |
|                 |requirement.     |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.e:        |Methodology      | It should read  |Grammatical      |
|                 |requirement minor|‘…and to the     |                 |
|                 |edit: Missing    |accessibility of |                 |
|                 |‘the’ in ‘…and to|the website.’    |                 |
|                 |accessibility of |Same comment in  |                 |
|                 |the website.’    |the next sentence|                 |
|                 |                 |outside of the   |                 |
|                 |                 |blue box.        |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 2.e:        |First bullet     |should read      |Grammatical      |
|                 |minor edit:      |‘…explaining the |                 |
|                 |‘…explaining     |accessibility    |                 |
|                 |accessibility    |features of the  |                 |
|                 |features of the  |website’ (singula|                 |
|                 |websites’        |r ‘website’, add |                 |
|                 |                 |‘the’)           |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3           |Website          |Should address   |Comment          |
|                 |development      |that design also |                 |
|                 |process – this   |plays a factor in|                 |
|                 |set of 4 bullets |the adherence to |                 |
|                 |doesn’t address  |accessibility    |                 |
|                 |that design also |conformance.     |                 |
|                 |plays a factor in|                 |                 |
|                 |the adherence to |                 |                 |
|                 |accessibility    |                 |                 |
|                 |conformance.     |                 |                 |
|                 |Instead the      |                 |                 |
|                 |bullets focus on |                 |                 |
|                 |development &    |                 |                 |
|                 |test.            |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.d         |Methodology blue | to read ‘Include|                 |
|                 |box statement:   |all web pages and|                 |
|                 |‘into’ should be |web page states… |                 |
|                 |‘in’             |…in the selected |                 |
|                 |                 |sample.’         |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.d         |Suggest 1st      | ‘…that belong to|                 |
|                 |sentence after   |a series <of     |                 |
|                 |blue box state:  |actions used as  |                 |
|                 |                 |part of>         |                 |
|                 |                 |<del>presenting</|                 |
|                 |                 |del>  a complete |                 |
|                 |                 |process…’ for    |                 |
|                 |                 |clarity.         |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.d         |For clarity,     | ‘…part of a     |                 |
|                 |Suggest 2nd      |process          |                 |
|                 |sentence after   |<del>without</del|                 |
|                 |blue box state:  |> <add>,         |                 |
|                 |                 |unless</add> all |                 |
|                 |                 |other web pages  |                 |
|                 |                 |and web page     |                 |
|                 |                 |states that are  |                 |
|                 |                 |part of that     |                 |
|                 |                 |process <del>to  |                 |
|                 |                 |be</del>         |                 |
|                 |                 |<add>are</add>   |                 |
|                 |                 |included         |                 |
|                 |                 |<del>into</del>  |                 |
|                 |                 |<add>in</add> the|                 |
|                 |                 |selected sample.’|                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.d         |Next sentence    |to read ‘in the  |                 |
|                 |before the       |sample’          |                 |
|                 |numbered list    |                 |                 |
|                 |suggest changing |                 |                 |
|                 |‘into’ to ‘in’.  |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.d         |Number 1 bullet  |to ‘…that is part|                 |
|                 |suggest removing |of…’             |                 |
|                 |‘and’ in ‘…and   |                 |                 |
|                 |that is part of…’|                 |                 |
|                 |                 |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.d         |I was confused by|If not, suggest  |                 |
|                 |the word         |changing ‘process|                 |
|                 |‘replace’ because|and replace them’|                 |
|                 |does this mean   |to read ‘process |                 |
|                 |one web page was |and include them'|                 |
|                 |in there and you |                 |                 |
|                 |are replacing it |                 |                 |
|                 |with another?    |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.d         |Number 2 bullet  |change ‘into’ to |                 |
|                 |first sentence:  |‘to’.            |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.d         |Number 3 bullet  |add ‘the’ to read|                 |
|                 |note’s example:  |‘…without        |                 |
|                 |                 |changing the     |                 |
|                 |                 |contents of the  |                 |
|                 |                 |shopping cart…’  |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.d         |Number 4 bullet 2|Change ‘into’ to |                 |
|                 |nd sentence:     |‘to’.            |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 3.e         |2nd to last word |Fix spelling of  |Typo             |
|                 |in the first     |‘approaches’.    |                 |
|                 |paragraph after  |                 |                 |
|                 |the methodology  |                 |                 |
|                 |box:             |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 4.a         |3rd bullet: How  |                 |Question         |
|                 |would you check  |                 |                 |
|                 |that all features|                 |                 |
|                 |are supported by |                 |                 |
|                 |the web browser? |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 4.b         |Methodology      |to read ‘…web    |                 |
|                 |statement        |page state used  |                 |
|                 |suggested edit:  |in a complete    |                 |
|                 |Use ‘used in ‘   |process…’        |                 |
|                 |instead of       |                 |                 |
|                 |‘along’          |                 |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 4.d         |Methodology      |to read          |                 |
|                 |statement        |‘…requirement for|                 |
|                 |suggested edit:  |non-interference.|                 |
|                 |add ‘for’ to the |’ Same comment   |                 |
|                 |last phrase in   |for first        |                 |
|                 |the sentence     |sentence of the  |                 |
|                 |                 |next paragraph.  |                 |
|-----------------+-----------------+-----------------+-----------------|
|Step 4.e         |Not sure it is   |It just seems    |Comment          |
|                 |reasonable to    |that you should  |                 |
|                 |expect every     |just go ahead and|                 |
|                 |single random    |evaluate the     |                 |