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Re: "SPARQL 1.1 Overview" comments

From: Axel Polleres <axel.polleres@deri.org>
Date: Wed, 14 Dec 2011 18:44:54 +0100
Cc: <public-rdf-dawg-comments@w3.org>
Message-Id: <20903E74-1179-4C52-AA36-E93D20AD84A0@deri.org>
To: Bob DuCharme <bob@snee.com>
Hi Bob,

 > The SPARQL 1.1 Overview document looks like it will be very useful to a 
 > lot of people. I listed some suggested changes below. They're mostly 
 > picky copyediting things.
 >
 > Bob DuCharme

First of all, thanks for the feedback, we have tried to address all your comments in the current Editor's draft, see: 

http://www.w3.org/2009/sparql/docs/sparql11-overview/Overview.xml

Where we deviate from your suggestions, we explain below.

We'd appreciate if you could acknowledge that this adequately addresses your comment.

Axel, on behalf of the SPARQL WG


 > 00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)[[User:Apollere2|Axel Polleres]] 00:23, 12 December 2011 (UTC)
 >
 >(s/foo/bar/ means change foo to bar)
 >
 >s/An an/An/, and end that bullet item with a period for consistency with 
 >the other bulleted items.

done.

 >
 >The phrase "SPARQL 1.1" sometimes includes a space and sometimes 
 >doesn't. I think it should include it throughout. See also "RDF1.1".

done. 

 >"is loaded into a SPARQL service" At this point the reader has no idea 
 >what a SPARQL service is.

added: "(i.e., an HTTP service endpoint that can process SPARQL queries)"

 >add colon after "number of their friends"

done.

 >
 >s/which allow to construct/which allow queries to construct/ (or some 
 >other noun besides "queries")

changed to: "by which new RDF graphs can be constructed from a query result;"

 >s/DBPedia/DBpedia/  throughout
 
done.

 >"Snoopy"@en (say what the @en is)

While this document shall present SPARQL1.1 at an introductory level, we assume basic familiarity with RDF concepts such as language tags, which is why we left this 'as is'.
 
 >
 >"in the form of e.g. " "in the form of, for example, "

done.

 >Section 6: add carriage returns to query to make it more readable

done.

 >
 >s/via HTTP, defines/via HTTP. It also defines/
 
done.

 >s/and how respective/and what respective/

done.

 >s/, could according/could according/

done.

 >s/methods are described/methods, are described/

done.

 >s/desribes/describes/ (spell check entire document)

done.

 >s/for discovering, and/for discovering and/

done.

 >s/return and RDF description/return an RDF description/ (and paragraph 
 >is difficult to follow and could use revision)
 
done.

 >POST, GET etc. sometimes initial capped, sometimes all upper-case. Make 
 >it consistent. (I like all upper-case more.)

done.

 >s/More such direct HTTP operations/Other direct HTTP operations/

done.

 >s/to drop an RDF graph, etc./to drop an RDF graph/ (etc. not necessary 
 >after e.g.)

done.
Received on Wednesday, 14 December 2011 17:46:05 GMT

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