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"SPARQL 1.1 Overview" comments

From: Bob DuCharme <bob@snee.com>
Date: Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:03:37 -0500
Message-ID: <4EDD4DC9.20305@snee.com>
To: public-rdf-dawg-comments@w3.org
The SPARQL 1.1 Overview document looks like it will be very useful to a 
lot of people. I listed some suggested changes below. They're mostly 
picky copyediting things.

Bob DuCharme


(s/foo/bar/ means change foo to bar)

s/An an/An/, and end that bullet item with a period for consistency with 
the other bulleted items.

The phrase "SPARQL 1.1" sometimes includes a space and sometimes 
doesn't. I think it should include it throughout. See also "RDF1.1".

"is loaded into a SPARQL service" At this point the reader has no idea 
what a SPARQL service is.

add colon after "number of their friends"

s/which allow to construct/which allow queries to construct/ (or some 
other noun besides "queries")

s/DBPedia/DBpedia/  throughout

"Snoopy"@en (say what the @en is)

"in the form of e.g. " "in the form of, for example, "

Section 6: add carriage returns to query to make it more readable

s/via HTTP, defines/via HTTP. It also defines/

s/and how respective/and what respective/

s/, could according/could according/

s/methods are described/methods, are described/

s/desribes/describes/ (spell check entire document)

s/for discovering, and/for discovering and/

s/return and RDF description/return an RDF description/ (and paragraph 
is difficult to follow and could use revision)

POST, GET etc. sometimes initial capped, sometimes all upper-case. Make 
it consistent. (I like all upper-case more.)

s/More such direct HTTP operations/Other direct HTTP operations/

s/to drop an RDF graph, etc./to drop an RDF graph/ (etc. not necessary 
after e.g.)
Received on Monday, 5 December 2011 23:04:09 UTC

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