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Re: Editorial comments about "Web Application Privacy Best Practices"

From: <Frederick.Hirsch@nokia.com>
Date: Wed, 20 Jun 2012 20:55:36 +0000
To: <jsoref@rim.com>
CC: <Frederick.Hirsch@nokia.com>, <public-device-apis@w3.org>
Message-ID: <47F40585-4DEC-4071-8B81-D742380DA927@nokia.com>
Josh

Josh

 I've made these changes. Thanks for the review. (some minor comments below)

Thanks

regards, Frederick

Frederick Hirsch
Nokia



On Jun 20, 2012, at 12:05 PM, ext Josh Soref wrote:

> Some of these I noticed while spot checking, but I'm letting MS Word 2010 walk me through the document....
> 
> General note:
> Do we want to say "the user" always instead of "a user"?

changed to "the user", I think it reads better.

> 
> This is classic diff format:
> < old text
>> replacement text
> 
> Note that I'm not including full context as it just makes it harder to read/find/do something
> 
> < anticipates to eventually publish
>> anticipates eventually publishing

done but this will be removed on publication as note.

> 
> < how it will user 
>> how it will use

fixed, thanks

> 
> < remembering a billing address, 
>> remembering a billing address;
> 

done (changed to remembering a billing address; another example is ...)

> < When doing so the service should make it clear to a user which information is retained, how it is used,
>> When doing so the service should make it clear to a user which information is retained and how it is used.


done

> 
> < and give the user an opportunity to correct or remove the information.
>> It should give the user the opportunity to correct or remove the information.
> 

done

> < allow the user to easily view and change these previous decisions.
>> allow the user to easily view and change their previous decisions.
> 

done

> < Focus on usability should improve a service
>> Focusing on usability should improve a service
> 

done


> < choosing a choice that
>> instead making a choice that
> 
done

> 
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Received on Wednesday, 20 June 2012 20:56:12 GMT

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