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minor comments for WD-xsl-20000327

From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
Date: Mon, 24 Apr 2000 01:39:01 -0800
Message-Id: <v04210100b529c55d7f5b@[24.25.222.186]>
To: xsl-editors@w3.org
Cc: w3t-comm@w3.org
Here are minor editorial comments for your XSL Last Call Working 
Draft [1] "work in progress." I have so far only read it once, and 
found remarkably few typos for such a long spec. Please feel free to 
use or ignore these, as you see fit. There are no suggestions for 
substantive changes here.

Comments
--------

It would be nice if when pointing to other parts of the spec. (e.g., 
"see the section on areas", or "please consult...") there was always 
a link.

Traits, properties, and values are sometimes marked up, sometimes in 
apostrophes ('), and sometimes in double quotes ("). It would be nice 
if there was a consistent markup style for them all, throughout the 
specification.

I wasn't sure if you intend to use the key words "SHALL" and "MUST" 
in accord with RFC 2119. If you do, there should be a mention of this 
in the Introduction with a link in References to 
http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2119.txt

slice1 is a great introduction. You might include one even simpler 
diagram showing a formatting object, trait, property and value, with 
the parts labeled.

The illustrations need "alt" text.

Globally, since it's not a proper noun, "User Agent" could read "user 
agent." Also, "recommendation" could be "Recommendation".

slice6 has a few candidates for ordered lists. In context, (1), (2), 
... and (a), (b), ... are clear, but I wondered if you wanted OLs.

In slice6, the trait value true starts out <code>true</code> and then 
in 6.5.3 and later becomes quoted "true" with no markup. Because this 
is a long and complex page, I'm in favor of markup for all 
occurrences, and possibly for all trait values.

In slice7, "white space", "whitespace" and "white-space" appear. 
Which is correct? I'd make all occurrences match.

In slice7, "Definition" and "Reference" don't need to be capitalized; 
each occurrence could read "CSS definition:", "CSS reference:" and 
"XSL definition:".

Also in slice7, each "Property Derived from a CSS2 Property." can 
perhaps read, "Property derived from a CSS2 property". "Writing-mode 
Relative Equivalent of CSS2 Property." could be, "Writing-mode 
relative equivalent of a CSS2 property". Or, since they don't appear 
to be headings or members of a class, these could be sentences.

A minor point: I didn't understand why the initial value for "format" 
(both in 7.32.1 and in Appendix C) is "1." rather than "1" or "1.0".


Minor typos
-----------

 From here on, a section number is followed by a quote, and then some 
idea for an improvement. Comments are in brackets [].

1.1.2 par. 7
mark-up
markup [It's a dictionary word.]

1.2.1 par. 2, 1.2.3 par. 1 and 2
side-bars
sidebars [It's a dictionary word.]

1.2.1 last item
XSL only
XSL-only

1.2.5 par. 2
more, see
more. See [or "more; see"]

two directions,
two directions:

2.2 last par.
lower-case
lowercase [It's a dictionary word.]

3. par. 3
(see [7 Formatting Properties]
(see [7 Formatting Properties])

3. par. 6 last list item
attribute,
attribute

3.1 par. 4
areas, instead
areas; instead

4.1 par. 5
copied from property of the same
copied from a property of the same

4.2.2 par. 6
dimensions
dimensions.

4.3.1 list item 3 par. 2
there are at two
there are two

4.14
[I didn't understand the purpose of the list of traits on areas.]

5.2 par. 2 Note
conformance level; "complete".
conformance level: "complete".

5.2 - last list, list item 2
initial-value
initial value

5.3 par. 2
correspondance
correspondence

5.3 - last "if"
even-numbered lined:
even-numbered lines:

5.3 last par., and 5.3.1 par. 1
correspondance
correspondence

5.8.3
|Numeric
| Numeric

5.8.9
RGB and ICC
[spell out the first time they are used: RGB (Red, Blue, Green) and 
ICC (International Color Consortium)]

5.8.13.1
[... CSS2/syndata.html#x39]
[CSS2 section 4.3.2]

0.28mm [approximately 1/90]
[Was the reference pixel not changed to 1/96"?]

5.9.2 icc-color
the an ICC Color Profile
an ICC Color Profile

5.9.4 from-parent and from-nearest-specified-value
expands; each
expands, each

5.10 par. 2
a the "space-before" property
the "space-before" property

5.10 par. 8
forms; the complete forms having
forms; the complete forms have
[or:]
forms, the complete forms having

6.1 par. 1
See [3 Introduction toFormatting].The
See [3 Introduction to Formatting]. The

6.3 external-graphic
xml result tree
XML result tree

6.3 simple-page-master
up to five regions
up to five regions.

6.3 table-cell
in a table-cell.
in a table cell.

6.4.1.2 - 2nd to last par.
It is expected, that
It is expected that

6.4.1.3 par. 2
We will say an
An

6.4.1.5
region to which the flow is assigned, except that
[This sentence is really long; here's one way to clarify:]
region to which the flow is assigned with two exceptions:

6.4.7 Constraints
need not be onto;
need not be one to one; [?]

6.4.9 Constraints
the sub-sequence of pages consist of
the sub-sequence of pages consists of

6.4.11 Constraints par. 2
Since, the
Since the

6.4.11 Constraints par. 3 and 4
trait is true, if
trait is true if

6.4.11 par. 5
["(1) if", "(2) if", "(3) if" might make more sense as "if (1)..., 
and (2)..., and (3)...".]

6.4.12 - 1st illustration
[Could the white area around region-body be labeled?]

6.4.12 Areas - par. 2
appear; that is,
appear, that is,

6.4.12 Constraints - 1st par. after 1st Note
measured from "top" to "bottom" For
measured from "top" to "bottom". For

6.4.13, 6.4.14, 6.4.15, 6.4.16, and 6.4.17 Common Usage
; that is, whether
, that is, whether

6.4.13, 6.4.14, 6.4.15, 6.4.16, and 6.4.17 Common Usage
clipped by the its parent
clipped by its parent

6.4.13 Common Usage - 2nd Note
that are to be placed on the same page.
are to be placed on the same page.

6.4.13 Areas - last Note
"rl-tb"writing-mode.
"rl-tb" writing-mode.

6.4.13, 6.4.14, 6.4.15, 6.4.16 and 6.4.17 Trait Derivation - par. 1
value the reference-orientation trait
value of the reference-orientation trait

6.4.14, 6.4.15, 6.4.16, and 6.4.17 Areas - last par.
to to
to

6.6.1.1.2, 6.6.1.1.3, and 6.7.1.1.1 Example result instance, and the 
stylesheet in 6.9.1.1.2
[Given the left margin, the longest line can run out the right side 
of a full screen window at 640x480. Possibly there is another way to 
break lines, for example:]
   </fo:initial-property-set>This is the text of a paragraph that
     is going to be presented with the first line in small-caps.

6.6.3 par. 3
semantic... are
[can be "semantics... are" or "semantics... is"]

6.6.11 Constraints - par. 3
objects; one for
objects, one for

6.8.1 - par. 1 after illustration
role of containing the complete list and to specify values
role of containing the complete list and of specifying values

6.8.1 - par. 4 after illustration
ding-bat
dingbat [It's a dictionary word.]

6.8.1.1.1 and 6.8.1.1.2 examples
[You might keep the same order as the other examples: input, 
stylesheet, result.]

6.10.1.1 par. 1
First, so that during
First, during [?]

6.10.3 Constraints - par. 2
"region-reference-area
"region-reference-area"

7.2 last par.
values in[5
values in [5

7.4.1 - fixed
the top the viewport
the top of the viewport

7.4.1 last line
posiiton
position

7.6.9, 7.6.12, 7.6.31, and 7.6.32 - <length-conditional>
it's
its

7.7.1 - <family-name>
In the previous example
[There's no example. Omit, say "[In the example given in CSS2]", or 
give example.]

7.7.3 Value
ultra-expanded |inherit
ultra-expanded | inherit
[Also, in this property definition, the 'font-stretch' keywords are 
listed three times. To cut repetition, maybe the uncommented list 
could be omitted.]

7.8.1 last line
code (these
code; (these

7.8.5 Initial
unicode
Unicode

7.9.3 and 7.9.4 - <percentage>
"...This is true for 'margin-top' and 'margin-bottom', except
     in the page context, where percentages refer to page box
     height."
[Can this sentence be omitted for 'margin-left' and 'margin-right'?]

7.11.6 - before and baseline par. 1, and baseline par. after Note
at least, one
at least one

7.12.1 - <length-range>
created, if minimum
created; if minimum

7.12.4 par. 3
non replaced
non-replaced

7.12.6 and 7.12.7
These two properties allow
[It may be unclear that this means 'max-height' and 'max-width'. 
Could mention their names.]
 
7.14.3 auto
codepoints
codepoint

7.14.6
([RFC2070])
[Needs a link to http://www.w3.org/TR/xsl/sliceD.html#RFC2070]

7.18.2 - XSL - auto
if the User Agent if the User Agent
if the user agent

7.19.5 groove and ridge
, the other half
; the other half

7.20.1 active
user. For example,
user, for example,

7.21 Note
when several nested fo:multi-switch objects builds
when several nested fo:multi-switch objects build

7.30 - last par. of xsl-preceding and xsl-following
It the current
If the current

7.32.1, 7.32.2, 7.32.3, and 7.32.4
This property is defined in XSLT: Number to String Conversion Attributes.
[Needs XSLT section number (7.7.1) and link to XSLT in References.]

7.34.6 - last par.
&&nbsp;
&nbsp;

7.35.1 - last par. of CSS2
[HTML40]
[HTML4] or [HTML4.01] [and needs an entry in References]

7.35.6 - XSL 1st par.
The phasing
The phrasing

7.36.8 - last par.
Changed initial value to visible (is "inherit" in CSS).
Changed initial value to visible; (it is "inherit" in CSS).

D.1
ICC.
[I would spell that out: "International Color Consortium."]

[1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2000/WD-xsl-20000327/

Best wishes for your project,
-- 
Susan Lesch
Intern, W3C
Received on Monday, 24 April 2000 04:38:31 GMT

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