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Comments for PR-xml11-20031105

From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 23:58:45 -0800
Message-Id: <p05111b03bbf73bba4876@[]>
To: xml-editor@w3.org


These are minor editorial comments for your XML 1.1 Proposed
Recommendation [1], I think in time for your review deadline. Please
use them or not, as you see fit.

The document would be 50k smaller if you can run it through Tidy with
indent off.

In 1.1, s/WG/Working Group/ (or spell out the first time "Working Group

In 2.2, s/Char]/Char.]/

In 2.8, s/associateattribute/associate attribute/

In 2.11, s/carriage-return/carriage return/ and s/line-feed/line feed/
(and if these are lowercase, ZERO WIDTH NO-BREAK SPACE, THAI CHARACTER
SARA AM and LAO CHARACTER AM probably can be, too, or, the other way

In 2.13, s/MUST not/MUST NOT/

In 3.1, s/value.]Note/value.] Note/

In 4, s/<b>parsed entity's</b> contents/<b>parsed entity</b>'s contents/
(I am not sure there.)

It is almost possible to count the number of times italics appear
("entity declaration", "not obligated to", "standalone='yes'", "This
sample shows a error-prone method", <code>%</code><var>HH</var> and one
<em>charset</em>s). If these can be normal font, then you could use
lowercase italic for RFC 2119 keywords like Namespaces in XML 1.1 does.
The Manual of Style shows CSS for making RFC 2119 keywords in CAPs
transformed to lowercase [2].

In 5.2 last paragraph, there is an unmatched parenthesis.

In 6, s/lower case/lowercase/

In A1, the Unicode reference gives Version 2.0. You might omit the
version altogether (I am not sure).

In A2, Fran#xE7;ois reads Fran#xE7;ois rather than François in my
browser (MacIE5).

In F and G, a participant in a WG is a participant not a member, in
order to differentiate between a participant and a W3C Member.

A few "whitespace"s crept in and I would spell them "white space"
globally if you intend to use two words.

[1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2003/PR-xml11-20031105/
[2] http://www.w3.org/2001/06/manual/#RFC

Best wishes for your project,
Susan Lesch           http://www.w3.org/People/Lesch/
mailto:lesch@w3.org               tel:+1.858.483.4819
World Wide Web Consortium (W3C)    http://www.w3.org/
Received on Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:58:47 UTC

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