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minor comments for XML Schema Primer 20000407

From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
Date: Wed, 19 Jul 2000 00:48:38 -0800
Message-Id: <p04320400b59b16fafbe6@[24.25.223.35]>
To: fallside@us.ibm.com, www-xml-schema-comments@w3.org
Cc: w3t-comm@w3.org
Hello, David,

Here are minor editorial comments for your XML Schema Primer [1] 
"work in progress."

Apparently English first person pronouns are difficult to translate. 
I do not know if it is necessary to change the Primer, but you might 
wish to read about this at [2].

If there is any way to shorten XML Schema Parts 0 through 2, I'm in 
favor. The only concrete example I can give you is clause 4.7, pars. 
2 and 4, where four sentences are repeated for each of the "final" 
and "block" attribute examples. Could one set be cut?

The rest of these comments concern minor typos. Below, a clause and 
paragraph number is followed by a quote and then a suggestion. 
Comments are in brackets [].

2 par. 2, and in the examples throughout
etc
etc.

2.2 par. 3
name, street, city, state and zip
[Here "name" links to
http://www.w3.org/TR/2000/WD-xmlschema-0-20000407/#attribute-name .
Was this intentional? If not you might call "name" "person", 
"customer", "customerName", or something else.]

2.2 Table 1
[In the Notes column, the sentences could be punctuated, either with 
semicolons or with caps and periods.]

2.2 last par.
declarations).
declarations.)

2.3 par. 1 [twice]
built-in to XML Schema
[Far as I know, as a verb "built in" would not be hyphenated.]
built in to XML Schema

2.3 par. 7
the enumeration facet is one the most useful
the enumeration facet is the one most useful

2.3 par. 10
complex types).
complex types.)

2.5.1 last par.
Section 4).
Section 4.)

2.5.2
"...Such an element has no content at all, we say that its
     content model is empty:"
     Such an element has no content at all; its
     content model is empty:

2.6 par. 2
stylesheets
style sheets

3.2 par. 7
overides
overrides

3.3 par. 1
emphasise
emphasize

3.3 last par.
"book"; And within
"book." Within
or
"book"; within

4.5 par. 1
examplar
exemplar

5 par. 1
summarise
summarize

5 par. 3
summarising
summarizing

5.4 par. 6
imported; Local,
imported; local,

5.4 last example could have a country (US) and telephone country code (+1).

5.4 last par.
and that prefix used to
and that prefix is used to [?]

In 5.5, the references to "HTML" could say "XHTML".

5.5 par. 4
well formed
well-formed

5.6 list item 3
dicussed
discussed

[1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2000/WD-xmlschema-0-20000407/
[2] http://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/www-international/2000AprJun/0058.html

Best wishes for your project,
-- 
Susan Lesch, W3C
mailto:lesch@w3.org
Received on Wednesday, 19 July 2000 03:48:36 UTC

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