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A few comments on Separation of Semantic and Presentational Markup...

From: <Lorisch@aol.com>
Date: Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:18:46 EDT
Message-ID: <d49.57397d8b.380fd796@aol.com>
To: www-tag@w3.org
Here are a few tiny suggestions from  an editor who also relishes reading 
about/learning Web technology and  practices. In other words, my feedback is 
about grammatical,  punctuation and typo type issues, not the substance of 
this  evolving document. If nothing else, grammar, punctuation and  sentence 
structure help to make even the most technical document readable.  Here's 
the Web page link: 
_http://www.w3.org/2001/tag/doc/contentPresentation-26.html_ (http://www.w3.org/2001/tag/doc/contentPresentation-26.html) .  And, here 
goes my input
-- Under "What is the Problem" (section 1), I read this sentence  ...

The actual problem seems to be that some content has  made inappropriate 
design choices that limit  restylability.

as saying that content is making design choices. It's the  designer, 
developer, etc., who makes design choices about the content, not  the content 
--- In "Abstraction and Concreteness" (section 3), the last sentence  
repeats the word "should."

Secondly, should all information on the Web  should be made available at as 
high a level of  abstraction as possible to allow maximal opportunities for 

-- In "The Value of Information" (section 5.1), this sentence was  unclear 
to me:

Clearly, this is highly abstract and capable  of analysis in various ways 
it is, in some sense, the most accessible  information. 

I wonder if making two sentences would clarify. It would then  read: 

Clearly, this is highly abstract and capable of analysis in various ways. 
It is, in some  sense, the most accessible information.

There are a few other punctuation issues, but the one's I've  mentioned 
seem the most important in 
terms of clarity. And the rest of the document is in draft form,  so 
editing would be highly unnecessary at this point. 
On a personal note, although I'm not experienced enough to  understand 
everything in this document, I did get and learn from a lot of it,  particularly 
the "Inappropriate Separation" section ("separation" needs a  capital "S," 
by the way). Making web builders aware that offering  separately styled 
content for mobile phones and other platforms outside  typical web browser 
presentation, is a wake-up call on the importance of  accessibility for all web 
Section 5.1, "The Value of Information," seems particularly  relevant to 
discussions governments, online industry representatives and  businesses in 
general are having right now. Very timely.
Also, when I read section 5.3 "The Craft of Presentation," it  reminded me 
of the work of Edward Tufte and other information graphics experts.  I've 
learned a lot from them. 
I hope all of this isn't obnoxious. What W3C does is immeasurably  
important, and I read your site whenever I can. Thank you for that. I hope  my tiny 
suggestions are useful.
Lori Stassi
Online and Print Editor, Web site developer/manager 
_loriscg@aol.com_ (mailto:loriscg@aol.com) 
Received on Thursday, 22 October 2009 14:30:21 UTC

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