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_______________________________________________________________
Thierry MICHEL tmichel@w3.org
W3C / INRIA +33 (0) 4 92 38 79 87
2004, Route des Lucioles
BP 93
06902 Sophia Antipolis Cedex,
France
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Forwarded message 1
Here is a short list of suggested minor typographical improvements
for the last call SMIL Animation [1] "work in progress." These
comments could be premature, but I hope they help as you move to
Candidate Recommendation. I found the spec to be well-written, easy
to follow, and in need of almost no corrections.
All e.g.'s and i.e.'s need a comma: e.g., and i.e.,
There are a few instances of "doesn't" and "can't" in section 6.2
which I would spell out "does not" and "cannot."
Also, parenthesized amplification that is itself a complete sentence
needs a preceding semicolon. They appear throughout the spec and I
won't enumerate them here. For example, in 3.1 final section for
attributeType:
The attribute value is one of the following (values are case-sensitive):
^
The attribute value is one of the following; (values are case-sensitive):
From this point on, a section and paragraph number is followed by a
quote, followed by a suggested correction.
1.
I would try to link to [XML] and [SMIL1.0] in the Introduction. (As
it stands, those references first come up in sections 3 and 5.)
3.2.3 last par.
semi-colon
semicolon
3.3 last example
However, animation function still uses the specified simple duration.
^ an or the?
3.5 par 5
it's -> its
side-effects -> side effects
3.6 par 3
from the Frozen state to the Finished state
from the <em>frozen</em> state to the <em>finished</em> state
or
from the frozen state to the finished state
3.7.4 par 2 #3
begin="indefinite"
<code>begin="indefinite"</code>
3.7.4 par 5
seeked- to -> seeked-to
4.2. Example 2
sets class attribute
sets the class attribute
[not sure here]
4.3 Vertical Line To
although generally
although this generally
4.3
Cubic bezier Curve To commands
Cubic Bezier Curve To commands
[assuming that you want to capitalize Bezier elsewhere]
4.3 calcMode and origin
I would make these P-delimited points or ULs (rather than
BR-delimited sentences). Also the final mention of calcMode could be
marked up <code>calcMode</code>.
4.4 par 2
sRGB could link to a reference:
[SRGB]
"A Standard Default Color Space for the Internet - sRGB", M.
Anderson, R. Motta, S. Chandrasekar, M. Stokes. Available at
http://www.w3.org/Graphics/Color/sRGB.html.
5. intro par
allowed/supported events.
[To remove the slash construct, I'd propose the following minor rewrite:]
This includes basic definitions, constraints upon animation, allowed
events and supported events.
5.2 par 2
"...Host language designers are discouraged from allowing
animation elements to target elements outside of the
document in which the animation element is defined (the
XLink syntax for the target element could allow this, but
the SMIL timing and animation semantics of this are not
defined in this version of SMIL Animation)."
[I would break this into two sentences:]
Host language designers are discouraged from allowing
animation elements to target elements outside of the
document in which the animation element is defined. (The
XLink syntax for the target element could allow this, but
the SMIL timing and animation semantics of this are not
defined in this version of SMIL Animation.)
6.2 par 3
in the much same way
in much the same way
6.2 par 7
DOMImplementation
DOM Implementation
6.2 ElementTimeControl - Methods - Return Values for
beginElement, beginElementAt, endElement, and endElementAt:
The list items contain complete sentences without caps or periods.
Example: (the begin attribute is not set to "indefinite")
Could read: (The begin attribute is not set to "indefinite".)
6.5 Object TimeEvent
TimeEvent has the all the properties
TimeEvent has all the properties
8. [HTML]
HTML 4.0 Specification
HTML 4.01 Specification
Reference:
[1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2000/WD-smil-animation-20000128
Best wishes and good luck with your project,
--
Susan Lesch
susan@textet.com
http://www.textet.com/