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minor typos in WD-smil-animation-20000128

From: Thierry MICHEL <tmichel@w3.org>
Date: Tue, 29 Feb 2000 17:23:39 +0100
Message-ID: <38BBF28B.C794DEA0@w3.org>
To: www-smil@w3.org

-- 
_______________________________________________________________

Thierry MICHEL                        	tmichel@w3.org
W3C / INRIA 				+33 (0) 4 92 38 79 87
2004, Route des Lucioles                       	
BP 93                                   
06902 Sophia Antipolis Cedex,           
France
_______________________________________________________________

attached mail follows:


Here is a short list of suggested minor typographical improvements 
for the last call SMIL Animation [1] "work in progress." These 
comments could be premature, but I hope they help as you move to 
Candidate Recommendation. I found the spec to be well-written, easy 
to follow, and in need of almost no corrections.

All e.g.'s and i.e.'s need a comma: e.g., and i.e.,

There are a few instances of "doesn't" and "can't" in section 6.2 
which I would spell out "does not" and "cannot."

Also, parenthesized amplification that is itself a complete sentence 
needs a preceding semicolon. They appear throughout the spec and I 
won't enumerate them here. For example, in 3.1 final section for 
attributeType:

The attribute value is one of the following (values are case-sensitive):
                                            ^
The attribute value is one of the following; (values are case-sensitive):

 From this point on, a section and paragraph number is followed by a 
quote, followed by a suggested correction.

1.
I would try to link to [XML] and [SMIL1.0] in the Introduction. (As 
it stands, those references first come up in sections 3 and 5.)

3.2.3 last par.
semi-colon
semicolon

3.3 last example
However, animation function still uses the specified simple duration.
         ^ an or the?

3.5 par 5
it's -> its
side-effects -> side effects

3.6 par 3
from the Frozen state to the Finished state
from the <em>frozen</em> state to the <em>finished</em> state
or
from the frozen state to the finished state

3.7.4 par 2 #3
begin="indefinite"
<code>begin="indefinite"</code>

3.7.4 par 5
seeked- to -> seeked-to

4.2. Example 2
sets class attribute
sets the class attribute
[not sure here]

4.3 Vertical Line To
although generally
although this generally

4.3
Cubic bezier Curve To commands
Cubic Bezier Curve To commands
[assuming that you want to capitalize Bezier elsewhere]

4.3 calcMode and origin
I would make these P-delimited points or ULs (rather than 
BR-delimited sentences). Also the final mention of calcMode could be 
marked up <code>calcMode</code>.

4.4 par 2
sRGB could link to a reference:
[SRGB]
"A Standard Default Color Space for the Internet - sRGB", M. 
Anderson, R. Motta, S. Chandrasekar, M. Stokes. Available at 
http://www.w3.org/Graphics/Color/sRGB.html.

5. intro par
allowed/supported events.
[To remove the slash construct, I'd propose the following minor rewrite:]
This includes basic definitions, constraints upon animation, allowed 
events and supported events.

5.2 par 2
"...Host language designers are discouraged from allowing
     animation elements to target elements outside of the
     document in which the animation element is defined (the
     XLink syntax for the target element could allow this, but
     the SMIL timing and animation semantics of this are not
     defined in this version of SMIL Animation)."
[I would break this into two sentences:]
     Host language designers are discouraged from allowing
     animation elements to target elements outside of the
     document in which the animation element is defined. (The
     XLink syntax for the target element could allow this, but
     the SMIL timing and animation semantics of this are not
     defined in this version of SMIL Animation.)

6.2 par 3
in the much same way
in much the same way

6.2 par 7
DOMImplementation
DOM Implementation

6.2 ElementTimeControl - Methods - Return Values for
     beginElement, beginElementAt, endElement, and endElementAt:
The list items contain complete sentences without caps or periods.
Example: (the begin attribute is not set to "indefinite")
Could read: (The begin attribute is not set to "indefinite".)

6.5 Object TimeEvent
TimeEvent has the all the properties
TimeEvent has all the properties

8. [HTML]
HTML 4.0 Specification
HTML 4.01 Specification


Reference:
[1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2000/WD-smil-animation-20000128

Best wishes and good luck with your project,
-- 
Susan Lesch
susan@textet.com
http://www.textet.com/
Received on Tuesday, 29 February 2000 11:23:58 UTC

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