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diction suggestion

From: Al Gilman <Alfred.S.Gilman@IEEE.org>
Date: Tue, 4 Oct 2005 12:59:06 -0400
Message-Id: <p06110400bf6821de3c03@[10.0.1.2]>
To: www-qa@w3.org

where Step 9 says:

<quote cite=
"http://www.w3.org/QA/2005/08/SpecGL-template-text">

Choice-of-two, you should complete one of the previous statement.

</quote>

It would better say

<draft>

Complete one or the other of the above two statements.
.
</draft>

<rationale>

*one* --> one of the two

Expanding the construct to a more explicit and complete form is clear
to the reader without requiring extra-verbal effects. This is better in
an international document for a wide readership.

Choice-of-two -- (deleted).

a) In idiomatic English, this will be read as choose two, not choose one.
For choose  one, you would say "This is a _choice between two_ options."

b) however, stating the instruction clearly in imperative mood is compact
and there is no need to muddy the waters trying to invent a noun form.

</rationale>

Al

PS: Here it's a bold text-effect, not quotation marks, but the
principle is the same. One of the rules of thumb that I have learned
is that where one is moved to use quotes there is often diction that
is obscure and many will not understand. For more straightforward,
understandable diction, double-check all instances of quotes for
alternate wording, just as with sentences over some number of words.

Here I learned that any form of distinguishing marking, whatever the
punctuation or text effect, is such a cue.

At 11:08 AM -0700 10/3/05, Patrick Curran wrote:
>Sorry - the problem is still there...
>
>Karl Dubost wrote:
>
>>
>>
>>Le 05-10-01 à 12:24, boland@nist.gov a écrit :
>>
>>>FYI - response from Markus re: CSS issue with document
>>>Thanks and best wishes
>>
>>
>>
>>Lynne would you mind checking the document again?
>>http://www.w3.org/QA/2005/08/SpecGL-template-text
>>
>>I just moved something in the markup and changed one thing in the CSS
Received on Tuesday, 4 October 2005 16:59:38 UTC

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