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Comments for CR-P3P-20001215

From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
Date: Sat, 24 Feb 2001 17:32:06 -0800
Message-Id: <p05010400b6bdfe54e867@[204.210.33.45]>
To: www-p3p-public-comments@w3.org
Belated congratulations on your P3P 1.0 Candidate Recommendation [1].
Here are just a few minor typos that I may have missed last time.
Also I have one question about capitalization:

Will user agents display literally the names of purposes, attribute values,
and category and short display names of Basic Data Structures? I couldn't
figure out why these are all capitalized like headlines. The specification,
and possibly dialog boxes or alerts in a user agent, could be easier to
read if these phrases and BNF comments that include them were lowercase.
(Some are quite long.) If you do want them capitalized for some reason,
then you may wish to review section 5, where some parts of these names are
lowercase (e.g. Postal code, Partial hostname, Last URI requested by the
user). Same in section 3 (e.g. for 3.2.6, Customer service, compared to
3.3.4, Completion and Support of Current Activity.)

Globally
--------
"Implementor" and "implementer" are both correct but you might settle on
one spelling.

"Web" should always be capitalized.

Base Data Schema is sometimes capitalized, sometimes emphasized (<em>)
and sometimes neither. Plain lowercase throughout might look neater.


Minor typos
-----------
 From here down, a section number is followed by a quote and then a
suggestion.

In 1.1 par. 1, the first occurrence of base data schema could link:
<a href="#Base_Data_Schema">base data schema</a>

1.1.4 par. 1
Webbrowsers
Web browsers

2.2.1 par. 2
accessable
accessible

2.3.2.1.2 par. 1
asterix (twice)
asterisk

2.3.2.1.2 last list item
any URI pattern that do not conform
any URI pattern that does not conform

2.3.2.3.4 list item 4
lfetime
lifetime

2.3.2.6 - the blockquote element is for quoting not for indentation.

2.3.2.7
that GET/POST/whatever request
"Whatever" is pretty colloquial for a specfication. How about:
that GET or POST request (or just "that request")

2.4.4
Webresource
Web resource

3.2.6 service
Webpage
Web page

3.3.4 <contact/>
Webcontent
Web content

3.3.4 <historical/>
preseservation
preservation

3.3.6 second to last line
indeterminated
indeterminate

4.2.1 par. 1
Such optional attribute encodes
Such an optional attribute encodes

4.2.1 [50]
<presudo-analysis/>
<pseudo-analysis/>

<preudo-decision/>
<pseudo-decision/>

<indovidual-decision/>
<individual-decision/>

4.2.4 last par.
user-agent
user agent

4.2.6 [56]
there is some DISPUTES
there are some DISPUTES

4.3 par. 1
a cookies
cookies

4.3 needs an ending period.

In 5.1 third to last par., this sentence is too long. What about
breaking it like so?
"...in other schema definitions. (In the vehicle example above we
     redefine as preference the category for the vehicle.built.where
     structure, while the postal structure, defined in the Base Data
     Schema, has the physical and demographic categories.)"

5.4.4 clickstream
     Web sites that collect standard server access logs can use this
     data element to describe how that data will be used, as well as
     this element sites which do URI path analysis.
What does the second part mean? Maybe reword this:
     Web sites that collect standard server access logs as well as
     sites which do URI path analysis can use this data element to
     describe how that data will be used.

5.4.4 clientevents
occurrance
occurrence

Appendix 5 second comment
Policy Refernece
Policy Reference

Appendix 5 PURPOSE
pseudo-decition
pseudo-decision

Appendix 8
Doubleclick -> DoubleClick (twice)

[1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2000/CR-P3P-20001215/

Best wishes for your project,

-- 
Susan Lesch - mailto:lesch@w3.org  tel:+1.858.483.4819
World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) - http://www.w3.org/
Received on Saturday, 24 February 2001 20:32:27 GMT

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