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Comments for WD-CCPP-struct-vocab-20010315

From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 21:58:36 -0800
Message-Id: <p05010403b6e487bb3de8@[204.210.33.112]>
To: www-mobile@w3.org
Here are a few comments for your Last Call Working Draft [1]. I think
CC/PP is a very polished specification, more so than many specs are at
later levels in the Recommendation track.

HTML Tidy set to not indent will reduce the file size by 10%.
(see http://www.w3.org/People/Raggett/tidy/)

Appendix A is full of security terms that are never used. They raise
and do not answer questions. I would remove these terms from Appendix A
unless you plan to address them: Anonymization, Assurance of origin,
Assurance of receipt, Authentication, Authorization, Channel security,
Confidentiality, Integrity, Non-Repudiation, Non-Repudiation of Origin,
Non-Repudiation of Receipt, Object security, Proof of receipt or Proof
of delivery, Receiver-initiated Transmission, and Sender-initiated
transmission. There might be a few more like Variant Content that are
unused and can be cut.

Also in Appendix A, I would try to reword anything borrowed from WAP or
other sources unless it was W3C's content originally.

Some tables have a border attribute with no value, which means it is
a value of the attribute frame. They could all be table border="1".
(see http://www.w3.org/TR/html401/struct/tables.html#h-11.3.1)

You might link to the Namespaces in XML reference [2] the first time
namespaces are mentioned in 1. par. 3 rather than wait until 2.2 par. 4.

In 3.1.2, the last two paragraphs refer to other sections by name.
All other references to other sections are by number with no link.
These references to other sections should all match.

Globally, web -> Web

Also globally in prose, UAPROF or UAprof -> UAProf (according to WAP
http://www1.wapforum.org/tech/documents/WAP-174_100-UAProf-20000621-a.pdf).
That includes the E.2 heading.

In its first occurrence in 1. par. 3, "user agent profiles" is
lowercase. Later it is inexplicably capitalized. Maybe the term could
be introduced here as "WAP User Agent Profiles (UAProf)" with later
occurrences all "UAProf"? Also in A.1, maybe the definition could mention
the short form "(UAProf)"?

The p following Figure 3-10 should start outside the dl.

 From here down a section and paragraph number are followed by a quote and
then a suggestion.

Abstract list item 3
xml
XML

Status
working group (five times)
Working Group
(see capitalization in the W3C Process Document
http://www.w3.org/Consortium/Process/)

Status par. 2
November 14 ,
November 14,

Status par. 4
this document is created from merge of CC/PP Structure and CC/PP Vocabularies.
this document was created by merging CC/PP Structure and CC/PP Vocabularies.
(I think)

minutes(Member-only link)
minutes (Member-only link)

Status par. 3
W3CDevice Independence activity
W3C Device Independence Activity (two changes)

1. par. 5
in the Appendix F
in Appendix F

In 1.3.1 par. 4, the key words REQUIRED, RECOMMENDED and OPTIONAL are
missing.

2.1.4 par. 4
each of which, needs
each of which needs

2.1.4 par. 5
To indicate sequence of proxies
To indicate a sequence of proxies

2.3.1 par. 6
meaning, defines
meaning, and defines

[4]
<a href="#%5B4%5D">[4]</a>

2.3.1 par. 7
datatype
data type

2.3.2 par. 5
"basic RDF serialization syntax.
"basic RDF serialization syntax."

2.3.2 par. 6
abbreviation forms
abbreviated forms

XML forms. using
XML forms. Using

2.3.3 par. 2
RDF schema
RDF Schema (shorthand name of the spec. would be capitalized,
otherwise schema would be lowercase)

2.3.3 par. 4
Specifc
Specific

2.3.3 par. 6
The RDF Schema
RDF Schema or
The RDF Schema specification

2.3.3 Figure 2-12 img alt text
RDF Schema
RDF schema

3.1.3 par. 5
     Inline defaults are logically equivalent to defaults contained in
     externally referenced document, and external documents would be
     normal way of referencing default values. The following is the
     external the XML serialization of the same profile using
     externally referenced defaults:
[minor changes:]
     Inline defaults are logically equivalent to defaults contained in
     externally referenced documents, and external documents would be the
                                   ^                                   ^
     normal way of referencing default values. The following is the
     external XML serialization of the same profile using
             ^
     externally referenced defaults:

4.1.1.2 Case-insensitive text par. 2
upper and lower case
upper- and lowercase

upper- and lower- case
upper- and lowercase

4.1.1.2 Case-insensitive Note
any specific language, in these contexts,the protocol
any specific language. In these contexts, the protocol

4.1.1.2 Tokens par. 2
upper and lower case
upper and lowercase

4.2 par. 2
     Thus, use of an existing extension vocabulary is encouraged
     wherever possible, or publication of a new vocabulary definition
     containing detailed descriptions of the various CC/PP attribute
     names.
[could read:]
     Thus, use of an existing extension vocabulary or publication of a
     new vocabulary definition containing detailed descriptions of the
     various CC/PP attribute names is encouraged wherever possible.

6. [1]
Extensible Markup Language (XML) 1.0;
Extensible Markup Language (XML) 1.0 (Second Edition)

Tim Bray, Jean Paoli, C. M. Sperberg-McQueen;
Tim Bray, Jean Paoli, C. M. Sperberg-McQueen, Eve Maler;

6. [7]
Internet draft
Internet-Draft

6. [12], [13], [14]
XML schema
XML Schema
[also these are PRs as I imagine you know]

A.1
<dd>Anonymization</dd>
<dt>Anonymization</dt>
[This term is never used.]

Authentication is broken into two dd's and could be one.
[This term is never used.]

A.1 Cacheable
sever
server

A.2 HTML
Hyper Text Markup Language
HyperText Markup Language

A.2 HTTP
Hyper Text Transfer Protocol
Hypertext Transfer Protocol

A.2 P3P
Project for Platform for Privacy Preferences
Platform for Privacy Preferences Project, or
Platform for Privacy Preferences

A.2 XHTML
Extensible Hyper-Text Markup Language
Extensible HyperText Markup Language

A.2 XSL
Extensible Style Language
Extensible Stylesheet Language

D.3.1 heading
don't: reuse
don't reuse

D.3.2 Notes
in a profile.<b><i>NOTE</i>:</b> if there a
in a profile.</p>
<p><b><i>NOTE</i>:</b> if a

D.3.5 par. 1
lower case
lowercase

D.3.5 par. 2
upper case
uppercase

E. par. 1
vocabularies
vocabularies.

W.
20010223	Published as First Working Draft.
20000223 ?	Published as first Working Draft.

[1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2001/WD-CCPP-struct-vocab-20010315/

Best wishes for your project,

-- 
Susan Lesch - mailto:lesch@w3.org  tel:+1.858.483.4819
World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) - http://www.w3.org/
Received on Monday, 26 March 2001 00:58:54 GMT

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