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RE: Policies list Introduction [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]

From: Arch, Andrew <Andrew.Arch@finance.gov.au>
Date: Thu, 11 Aug 2011 13:03:43 +1000
To: Shawn Henry <shawn@w3.org>, Denis Boudreau <dboudreau@webconforme.com>, Helle Bjarnø <jor@servicestyrelsen.dk>, Sylvie Duchateau <sylvie.duchateau@snv.jussieu.fr>, Emmanuelle Gutiérrez y Restrepo <emmanuelle@sidar.org>, Liam McGee <liam.mcgee@communis.co.uk>, Jennifer Sutton <jsuttondc@gmail.com>
CC: wai-eo-editors <wai-eo-editors@w3.org>, Andrew Arch <andrew.arch@gmail.com>
Message-ID: <008FC8994AEE7F49BF9BA9F12852CFB55D61384A1C@PCW9FINMB03.mercury.network>
Hi Shawn & Jennifer,

Reads well - much more concise :) Just a few editorial suggestions below, and a comment re "Updates Welcome".

Editorial suggestions:
1. "There is wide variety in how these are implemented ..." could be "There is wide variation in how these are implemented ..."
2. "... a lack of legislative activity in that country." could be expanded to "... a lack of legislative activity in that country, but maybe just that we haven't been provided with details." And, yes, I know we call for submission and updates a little further down, but I think this makes the current para more qualified and complete.
3. "... includes Authorized Translations" could be expanded slightly to "... includes existing Authorized Translations and invites additional ones."

In "Updates Welcome" it could be construed that we are just seeking updates to the existing material. I.E. tell us if something is wrong or missing from a particular (existing) country. I would like to see a sentence inviting 'new' entries for countries that aren't yet listed on the page. This would compliment my editorial suggestion.

Cheers, Andrew


-----Original Message-----
From: Shawn Henry [mailto:shawn@w3.org] 
Sent: Thursday, 11 August 2011 11:40 AM
To: Arch, Andrew; Denis Boudreau; Helle Bjarnø; Sylvie Duchateau; Emmanuelle Gutiérrez y Restrepo; Liam McGee; Jennifer Sutton
Cc: wai-eo-editors
Subject: Policies list Introduction

  To those particularly interested in the Policies page,

Jennifer and I have edited the Introduction at http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/policy-updates


We welcome feedback now. We plan to go over it with Judy before we bring it to EOWG.

Helle, I'd particularly like your input on: "Some are regional policies, some are national legislation, and some are government directives." I put the last part as a placeholder, but don't like it, especially in context with the rest of the Introduction. How would you categorize the situation in countries like Denmark?

Regards,
~Shawn


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Received on Thursday, 11 August 2011 03:04:20 GMT

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