W3C home > Mailing lists > Public > wai-eo-editors@w3.org > October 2008

Editorial tweaks in "Relationship between MWBP and WCAG"

From: Lisa Pappas <Lisa.Pappas@sas.com>
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2008 09:43:33 -0400
To: "wai-eo-editors@w3.org" <wai-eo-editors@w3.org>, Alan Chuter <achuter@technosite.es>
Message-ID: <345520A34347BA49B798F70B218ACD13055AFD5FBA@MERCMBX14.na.sas.com>
Hi, Alan,

Thank you for all your time and work on this. A few comments:


Introduction, 3rd sentence

Current:
It is primarily designed to help Web developers who have worked with either WCAG or MWBP to learn about the additional requirements in the other.

Suggested:
It is designed primarily to help Web developers who have worked with either WCAG or MWBP to learn about the additional requirements in the other.

Rationale:
Don't separate the compound predicate ("is designed"). Clarity and could affect translation.


Location: "The Relationship Between" - Para. 1, Sent. 2

Current:
For example, in some cases complying a specific WCAG provision will meet the related MWBP;

Suggestion:
For example, in some cases complying with a specific WCAG provision will meet the related MWBP;

Rationale:
Need "with" -- missing word


Location: "How to Use," Paragraph 1, second bullet.

Current: Shared Web Experiences: Barriers Common to Mobile Device Users and People with Disabilities lists Web interaction that is similar by a user with a disability and by a user with a mobile device.

Suggestion: Shared Web Experiences: Barriers Common to Mobile Device Users and People with Disabilities lists similarities of Web interactions by a user with a disability and by a user with a mobile device.

Rationale:
Current is missing a word. Rewording for clarity


Location: "How to Use," Paragraph 1, second bullet.

Current:
It links to recommendations for designing Web content without these barriers from WCAG and MWBP.

Suggestion: It links to recommendations from WCAG and MWBP for designing Web content without these barriers.

Rationale: Sounds like the barriers come FROM WCAG and MWBP, so need to move the modifier

Location: "How to Use," Paragraph 2, third bullet.

Current: If you are familiar with WCAG 2.0, and want to learn...

Suggestion: If you are familiar with WCAG 2.0 and want to learn...

Rationale: Remove comma. Needs to be parallel (it's correct in previous bullet)


Location: "Web Content..Together" - para. 1

Current: If you are not familiar with either WCAG or MWBP, a strategy is to:

Suggestion: If you are not familiar with either WCAG or MWBP:

Rationale: Phrase "a strategy is to" is superfluous.
Note: This one may be eclipsed by an alternative introductory phrase that came up in EOWG. Think that's what I heard from Shawn as I was typing this.

Location: "Web Content..Together" - list item 1

Current: Use the table of barriers common to mobile device users and people with disabilities for an overview of the barriers and solutions common to WCAG 2.0 and MWBP.

Suggestion: Use the table of barriers common to mobile device users and people with disabilities for an overview of the barriers and solutions shared by WCAG 2.0 and MWBP.

Rationale:"common" is repeated. Might be clearer to replace with synonym



Location: Appendix A, para 1

Current: For the latest version of any W3C specification please ...

Suggestion: For the latest version of any W3C specification, please consult ...

Rationale:Need comma after adverbial introductory clause to set off main clause (yes, grammar granny <g>).

Location: Document Information, copyright statement
Current: (MIT, ERCIM,Keio)
Suggestion: (MIT, ERCIM, Keio)
Rationale:
I'm sure this comes from some automated place, but we need a space after the comma between ERCIM and Keio)


Lisa Pappas

Accessibility Analyst ▪ Software Quality Process & Research
Tel: + 1 919 531 0980 ▪ Mobile: + 1 919 523 4612 ▪ lisa.pappas@sas.com
World Headquarters ▪ 500 SAS Campus Drive, R41 ▪ Cary, NC  27513
www.sas.com
SAS® … THE POWER TO KNOW®

This message and any attachments contain information that may be confidential and privileged. Unless you are the addressee (or authorised to receive for the addressee), you may not use, copy, print or disclose to anyone the message or any information contained in the message. If you have received this e-mail in error, please advise the sender by reply and delete the message and any attachments. Thank you.


Received on Friday, 10 October 2008 13:44:14 GMT

This archive was generated by hypermail 2.2.0+W3C-0.50 : Tuesday, 12 January 2010 00:13:17 GMT