RE: Business Case - copyedits and references for SOCIAL

Hi Shawn,

One issue  at a time, see comments below point 1.
Henk

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
H. Snetselaar
Bartimeus Educational Institute for the Blind and Partially Sighted
Utrechtseweg 84, 3702 AD  Zeist, the Netherlands
Tel: +31-(0)30-6982211 or +31(0)30-6982350
Fax: +31-(0)30-6982388
E-mail: H.Snetselaar@bartimeus.nl
Website: www.bartimeus.nl and www.accessibility.nl
Zie voor disclaimer (Read our disclaimer):
www.accessibility.nl/disclaimer.html 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

>>> "Shawn Lawton Henry" <shawn@w3.org> 03/14/04 1:01 AM >>>
Andrew & Henk,

Well, I _did_ work on the business case most of the flight home (didn't
even watch a movie, although did sleep a little on the first of 3
flights :-); however, I just finished the first page today (Saturday).

Thanks much for the copy edits. They were clearly indicated, making them
easy to fix. After my signature is a list that indicates how edits were
addressed.

I spent quite a lot of time integrating the specific checkpoints into
the "Web Accessibility Benefits More Than People with Disabilities"
section. First, I had to go into to WCAG to help match each checkpoint
number with the relevant wording (I don't quite have them all memorized
:-). Then I found that some relevant checkpoints were missing, and so
for each group I went through all of WCAG to see if there were
additional checkpoints that we should be covering.

As a result, I have two requests of you:

1. Could you go over this latest version of the "Web Accessibility
Benefits More Than People with Disabilities" section of the Social
Factors page (http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/soc.html) and see
what you think about the revisions? See
http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/changelog.html#review for specific
questions.
(fyi, version you worked on last week is at:
http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/Drafts/bcase/soc-old.html)

HS>> Much better overview because of the lists you made.
"In addition, assessible sites can be read and navigated by screen
readers (for people who are blind) and people who ....."
I have two problems with this sentence: you should be able to read and
understand a sentence skipping parts withing parenthesis, and the word
screen reader is appearing first time in a document that can easely be
the first document people read when searching for the sense of
accessible websites.
Proposed sentence in stead:
In addition, accessible sites can be read and navigated using a screen
reader program like blind people do to listen to sites. People who
cannot read can also benefit from using those program's by listening to
sites.



2. Could you go over the Technical and Financial pages in the next
couple of days to:
	- check if there are other WCAG checkpoints we should be listing
	- make specific recommendations on how each WCAG checkpoint is
integrated into the documents I'm trying to get all the pages of the
Business Case done early the week of 15 March - hope to work on airplane
again on Tue 16 March (but "don't hold your breath" :-\

Thanks again for your input! Please let me know if & when you can do 1 &
2 above.

Best,

~ Shawn


[DONE] activtly = actively
[DONE] in may areas = in many areas
[DONE] if Web site were made accessible = if Web sites 
[DONE] were made accessible to afford, regular access  = to afford
regular access [DONE] conducting business in ethically  = conducting
business ethically [DONE] help incorporating social factors = help
incorporate social factors

[corrected list structure differently than below] CSR - suggest
additional  list  levels:
  Does CSR exist?
      if yes:
          How does Web accessibility fit ...
      if no:
          Are there programs ...
          Would it be effective ...

[DONE] funding. many organizations = funding. Many organizations [DONE]
about CRS = about CSR [DONE] show have CSR impacts customers = show how
CSR impacts customers

[DONE, adding references page for EOWG discussion] Credibility issues -
we  talked about providing supporting references from 3rd parties - need
some (eg US  and EU) for CSR stats "showing impact on customers"

[DONE] fluent in the language of the Web page = fluent in the language
of the  Web site

[DONE] benefit from the the text = benefit from the text
[DONE] that also benefit people with low = that also benefits people
with low 
[DONE] thus inceasing download speed = thus increasing download speed
download 
[DONE] large multiimedia files = download large multimedia files 
[made consistently one word w/o hyphen*] socioeconomic = socio-economic
(3/4 instances) 
[DONE] cannot handle style sheets and accessible pages = cannot handle
style  sheets; accessible pages 
[DONE] little opportunitty  = little opportunity

[DONE] Related Resources - include WCAG1.0 as will be x-referenced many
times

[done, plus added more] Access for Older People - (WCAG 1.0 Checkpoint
3.4)
[done, plus added more] Access for People with Low Literacy  - (WCAG 1.0
Checkpoint 14.2, 14.1, 14.3, 13.4) 
[done, plus added more] Access for People with Low Bandwidth - (WCAG 1.0
Checkpoint 1.1, 3.1, 3.3, 14.3, 13.4, 13.1) 
[done, except don't understand relevance of 1.1, plus added more] Access
for  New and Infrequent Users - (WCAG 1.0 Checkpoint 10.1, 13.3, 1.1,
14.3, 13.4,  others?)

[DONE (and should be done again at end]) Also, while we picked up many
typo's  while reading this, we suggest using a spell checker as we may
have missed  some.

---

* socioeconomic vs. socio-economic: a quick review of some sources shows
it both ways - as one word and as hyphenated. Chicago Manual of Style
seems to have it as one word. I am OK with either way, as long as we
point to the source that we use for the final decision.


> -----Original Message-----
> From: wai-eo-editors-request@w3.org
> [mailto:wai-eo-editors-request@w3.org] On Behalf Of 
> Andrew.Arch@visionaustralia.org.au
> Sent: Tuesday, March 02, 2004 12:16 PM
> To: Shawn Lawton Henry
> Cc: wai-eo-editors@w3.org; H.Snetselaar@bartimeus.nl
> Subject: Business Case - copyedits and references for SOCIAL
> 
> 
> 
> activtly = actively
> in may areas = in many areas
> if Web site were made accessible = if Web sites were made
> accessible to afford, regular access  = to afford regular 
> access conducting business in ethically  = conducting 
> business ethically help incorporating social factors = help 
> incorporate social factors
> 
> CSR - suggest additional list  levels:
>   Does CSR exist?
>       if yes:
>           How does Web accessibility fit ...
>       if no:
>           Are there programs ...
>           Would it be effective ...
> 
> funding. many organizations = funding. Many organizations about CRS = 
> about CSR show have CSR impacts customers = show how CSR impacts 
> customers
> 
> Credibility issues - we talked about providing supporting
> references from 3rd parties - need some (eg US and EU) for 
> CSR stats "showing impact on customers"
> 
> fluent in the language of the Web page = fluent in the
> language of the Web site
> 
> benefit from the the text = benefit from the text
> that also benefit people with low = that also benefits people
> with low thus inceasing download speed = thus increasing 
> download speed download large multiimedia files = download 
> large multimedia files socioeconomic = socio-economic (3/4 
> instances) cannot handle style sheets and accessible pages = 
> cannot handle style sheets; accessible pages little 
> opportunitty  = little opportunity
> 
> Related Resources - include WCAG1.0 as will be x-referenced many times
> 
> Access for Older People - (WCAG 1.0 Checkpoint 3.4)
> Access for People with Low Literacy  - (WCAG 1.0 Checkpoint
> 14.2, 14.1, 14.3, 13.4) Access for People with Low Bandwidth 
> - (WCAG 1.0 Checkpoint 1.1, 3.1, 3.3, 14.3, 13.4, 13.1) 
> Access for New and Infrequent Users - (WCAG 1.0 Checkpoint 
> 10.1, 13.3, 1.1, 14.3, 13.4, others?)
> 
> Also, while we picked up many typo's while reading this, we
> suggest using a spell checker as we may have missed some.
> 
> Andrew & Henk
> _________________________________
> Dr Andrew Arch
> Manager Online Accessibility Consulting
> National Information & Library Service, Australia
> Ph 613 9864 9222; Fax 613 9864 9210; Mobile 0438 755 565
> http://www.nils.org.au/ | > http://www.it-test.com.au/ | 
> http://www.ozewai.org/
> 
> Member,
> Education & Outreach Working 
> Group,
> W3C Web Accessibility Initiative
> http://www.w3.org/WAI/EO/
> 
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> Royal Victorian Institute for the Blind, The Royal Blind
> Society of NSW, and Vision Australia Foundation.
> 
> 
>

Received on Monday, 15 March 2004 03:26:15 UTC