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Business Case Overview Comments and Notes

From: Carol at Kognitive.com <carol@kognitive.com>
Date: Fri, 2 Apr 2004 17:10:27 -0600
Message-ID: <0b4201c41907$b2f9b030$7900a8c0@VAIO>
To: <wai-eo-editors@w3.org>
Cc: "Shawn Lawton Henry" <shawn@w3.org>
Here are some comments and notes on the Business Case Docs (Editors discretion).  I am done with the entire document - great job to all!  Brackets are spelling/grammar issues.


- Overview - Overall looks great!  As we discussed in the call I think splitting out the Outlines to a new page (Detailed Table of Contents) is a good idea.  I do like the Factors in a Business Case for Web Accessibility section (short descriptions).

Developing a Custom Business Case Section
    1. The Social Factors, Technical Factors, Financial Factors, Legal & Policy Factors pages each start with questions to help identify how these factors apply to a specific organization's and guide development of a custom business case for a specific organziation.
    Change to: To help guide development of a custom business case, the Social Factors, Technical Factors, Financial Factors, Legal & Policy Factors pages each start with questions to help identify how these factors apply to a specific [organization].
     Reason: Puts "action" at beginning of sentence - catches eye more than list of docs.
__________________________________________

- Social Factors - I like this page especially.  The bolded bullets are very easy to read visually.

Web [Accessibility] is an Aspect of Corporate Social Responsibility Section
     1. CSR is spelled out in multiple sections of the document.  Not a bad thing, but it is repetitive. I'm not sure what's best with acronyms.

Web Accessibility Benefits People with and without Disabilities Section
    2. Below are examples of aspects of Web accessibility that provide improved access and thus social inclusion for additional groups of people that are often a focus of corporate social responsibility.
    Change to: Below are examples where aspects of Web accessibility provide improved access and thus social inclusion for other specific groups of people that are often a focus of corporate social responsibility.
    Reason: Sentence is a bit awkward and long.  Even with changes could be shortened.

__________________________________________

- Technology Factors

Identifying Technical Factors for a Specific Organization Section
    1.  Spelling/Grammar: "provide future-compatibility of [your or the] technology?

__________________________________________

- Financial Factors

Identifying Financial Factors for a Specific Organization Section
    1.  Is the organization possibly legally obligated to make their Web site accessible, or might it in the future?
    Change to: Is the organization possibly legally obligated to make their Web site accessible, or might it {be} in the future?

__________________________________________
- Legal and Policy Factors

Identifying Legal and Policy Factors for a Specific Organization Section

    1. @@ think this needs to be a section below & not a question@@ Is it helpful to include the risk of failing to provide accessible Web sites?
    I agree that this should be in the Considerations for Different Types of Organizations section.  I suggest calling it "Legality" and changing the subheadings to be "___________ Organizations" in the Considerations section.  Or create a whole new section just on this subject.


Regards,

Carol J. Smith
carol@kognitive.com
Received on Friday, 2 April 2004 18:35:32 GMT

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