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Comments for UAAG and Techniques 20010912

From: Susan Lesch <lesch@w3.org>
Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002 00:30:51 -0800
Message-Id: <p05100304b881520d91a8@[192.168.123.158]>
To: w3c-wai-ua@w3.org
Belated congratulations on your UAAG Candidate Recommendation [1] and
Techniques [2].

The overall impression is beautiful, direct writing with no wasted
resources.

I think you could improve readability by pruning meta-information, and
listing all parts in the introduction (less prose, one list). For
example, write in the introduction some variation of:
- Guidelines
- Checkpoints
- Linear Checklist
- Tabular Checklist
- Summary
- Techniques
- Techniques Topics
This sets expectations. The reader will know ahead of time that after
reading the eventual Recommendation, there is more to know.

Related, it wasn't until I reached the summary, after reading the whole
spec, that it was clear the checkpoints are what UAs need to conform
to. As UAAG goes beyond "Guidelines," this can be said up front.
Apologies if I missed a cue.

Where possible, UAAG could use XHTML examples instead of HTML. For
example, in chapter 4, Empty content under Content:
   (e.g., the HR element in HTML).
becomes:
   (e.g., the hr element in XHTML).

Globally, elements, attributes, and properties can all be marked up
<code> (or not). Right now some are; some are not.

ECommerce/Micropayments is a closed Activity. I am not certain that
UAAG can refer to [MICROPAYMENT] as anything more than a "Working
Draft" or a "work in progress."

When referring to "National" organizations, say USA National.

The selectors in the local style sheet should all be lowercase (div,
span, dt, dd, p, hr, img, ul, li) for XHTML.
http://www.w3.org/TR/2001/CR-UAAG10-20010912/style/default.css

Every chapter except cover could link to the style sheet
http://www.w3.org/StyleSheets/TR/W3C-CR . I guess what you have makes
sense for printing, but for online reading, the TR style sheet keeps
"W3C Candidate Recommendation" in view at all times in smart browsers,
part of the W3C brand. Compare to, for example, another multi-page
Recommendation, XHTML 1.1.

There could be a [next] or [next chapter] link at the bottom of cover.

Globally, "level" or "Level" for WCAG (probably not both).

Globally, Document Type Definition -> document type definition

Below, minor editorial comments are a quote followed by a suggestion on
the next line.


Guidelines
==========
In checkpoint 3.3 (guidelines, checklist and linear checklist), cut the
period in "content. as".

In the checklist and linear checklist, "This document has been produced
as part of the Web Accessibility Initiative. WAI...." could say "...Web
Accessibility Initiative (WAI). WAI...."


Chapter 2
---------
Present the concepts of guidelines and checkpoints in the same order
they are presented in the summary.

Is there a reason to say "(P1)" instead of "(Priority 1)"?

control"."
control."

"subject of the claim)
"subject of the claim")

They notes
The notes

interaction When
interaction. When

any rate of change
at any rate of change

functionality, not all of which causes
functionality, not all of which cause
(I think.)

Web masters
Webmasters
(see http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?va=Webmaster)

In 3.6 above "all three input modalities," there are two.

In API
ouput
output

the captions background
the captions' background

custom APIs may superior access
custom APIs may offer superior access

See also to checkpoint checkpoint 7.1.
See also checkpoint 7.1.

to a single-key
to a single key


Chapter 3
---------
It might be easier to follow the examples if the terms were given
first. In other words, build up to a claim rather than take one apart.
Just a thought.


Chapter 4
---------
Could "state" be defined (if only in a definition that uses the term)?

In Configure, control, this sentence is too long:
   Furthermore, the term "control" typically means that the change can
   be made easily (such as through a keyboard shortcut) and that the
   results of the change occur immediately, whereas the term
   "configure" typically means that making the change requires more
   time and effort (such as making the change via a series of menus
   leading to a dialog box, via style sheets or scripts, etc.) and
   that the results of the change may not take effect immediately
   (e.g., due to time spent reinitializing the system, initiating a
   new session, rebooting the system).
becomes:
   Furthermore, the term "control" typically means that the change can
   be made easily (such as through a keyboard shortcut) and that the
   results of the change occur immediately. The term
   "configure" typically means that making the change requires more
   time and effort (such as making the change via a series of menus
   leading to a dialog box, via style sheets or scripts, etc.). The
   results of "configuration" might not take effect immediately
   (e.g., due to time spent reinitializing the system, initiating a
   new session, rebooting the system).

Then a new paragraph could start before "In order to be able to...".

Minor point in Content, "context" sounds like both content and text.
   3. It is used in the context of the phrases non-text content and
   text content.
becomes:
   3. It is used in the terms non-text content and text content.

(DOM) Level 2 Specifications
(DOM) Level 2 specifications

In Document character set:
a "repertoire", A set
A "repertoire": A set

In "Element, element type," there is an extra comma after type.

In Script:
recognize For instance
recognize. For instance

In Text content...:
There is a comma missing in "text equivalent non-text equivalent".

or as Braille
or as braille

"invisible content" is marked up under Content like this:
"<a id="def-invisible-content"
name="def-invisible-content"><dfn><b>invisible
content</b></dfn></a>"
but Text content, non-text element, text equivalent, and
non-text equivalent are simply quoted. Should they be bold?


References
----------
Use the real titles of CSS1 and CSS2; "Recommendation" looks like it
was added.

CHARMOD needs an ending period.

The How People with Disabilities Use the Web
"How People with Disabilities Use the Web"
[This one is also in the summary.]


Summary
-------
Present the concepts of guidelines and checkpoints in the same order
they are presented in the spec.

I clicked the [guidelines] link at the bottom and accidentally went to
the 300+k single file. I think this link should go to the cover page
(or to guidelines.html).


Techniques
==========
inUser
in User

stylesheet
style sheet

ouput
output

In the cover:
in making the Web accessibility to
in making the Web accessible to

In Guidelines:
the checkpoint Screen shots
the checkpoint. Screen shots

may wish to user
may wish to use

has a onMouseOver and onMouseOut event handlers
has onMouseOver and onMouseOut event handlers

Users with blindness, low vision, deafness, hard of hearing
Users with blindness, low vision, or deafness, or who are hard of hearing

instance,users
instance, users

interaction When
interaction. When

Re: "character set standards," I am not sure if that should read
"coded character set standards," as "'character set' is considered
harmful."

Hertz
hertz (arguably, lowercase unless abbreviated, when it's Hz)

Web masters
Webmasters

   research shows that some users prefer a black background behind
   white lettering is preferred.
becomes
   research shows that some users prefer a black background behind
   white lettering.

e.g., and audio viewport
e.g., an audio viewport

The quote in 6.7 has only one quotation mark (at the end).

specifications. conformance
specifications. Refer to conformance

operating environments conventions
operating environment conventions

In checkpoint 10.3, this sentence looks lost under Who Benefits:
   For this checkpoint, and for others in this document, "color"
   includes black, white, and greys.
It is important enough to mention in the introduction or glossary.

The image link-configuration-opera needs cleaning up a bit.

a label for form element
a label for the form element


Topics
------
"As shown in the following image" appears after the image
jfw-html-options. Say "As shown in the image above...."

TH s
THs

user interfaces for viewing and editing the input configuration needs
user interfaces for viewing and editing the input configuration need

taken(e.g.
taken (e.g..

reading from left to right
[Insert in brackets that this assumes a direction.]

choose state by name
choose a state by name

tn1095 and tn1164
TN1095 and TN1164

on the MAC OS X
on Mac OS X

The Accessible Web Browser&lt;
The Accessible Web Browser


[1] http://www.w3.org/TR/2001/CR-UAAG10-20010912/
[2] http://www.w3.org/TR/2001/WD-UAAG10-TECHS-20010912/

Best wishes for your project,
-- 
Susan Lesch           http://www.w3.org/People/Lesch/
mailto:lesch@w3.org               tel:+1.858.483.4819
World Wide Web Consortium (W3C)    http://www.w3.org/
Received on Saturday, 2 February 2002 03:30:54 GMT

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