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Re: Review Comments for Social Factors in Developing a Web Accessibility Business Case

From: Andrew Arch <andrew@w3.org>
Date: Wed, 20 May 2009 17:31:46 +0100
Message-ID: <4A143072.5020803@w3.org>
To: Lisa Pappas <Lisa.Pappas@sas.com>
CC: EOWG <w3c-wai-eo@w3.org>
Hi Lisa,

Thanks for all the comments.

Lisa Pappas wrote:
> General Comment -- Great arguments here!
> 
> Optional Changes
> 
> 1. Add a sentence or paragraph between the headings Web Accessibility
> is a Social Issue and Web Accessibility is Essential for Equal
> Opportunity (believe this is W3C style -- not to follow a heading
> with a heading)

Done - and add clarity too.

> 2. For clarity in translation, remove use of pronoun "it" with no
> antecedent. Change: Therefore it is essential that the Web be
> accessible in order to provide equal access and equal opportunity to
> people with disabilities. [
> 
> To: Therefore, Web accessibility is essential for providing equal
> access and equal opportunity to people with disabilities.

Done

> 3. For clarity, remove passive There were construction in favor of
> active construction: Change: there were significant barriers for many
> people with disabilities, including To:
> 
> To: many people with disabilities faced significant barriers,
> including

Done

> AND 4.Change: accessible, it is [still] difficult for some people to
> get resources from a library.
> 
> To: accessible, some people still face difficulties getting resources
> from a library.

Done

> 5. Under Barriers to Web Use, Change Currently there are significant
> barriers on the Web for many people with disabilities
> 
> To Currently, significant barriers on the Web remain for many people
> with disabilities

done

> 6. Under Number of People Affected Change: It is difficult to
> estimate how many people are affected by Web accessibility because
> 
> To: To estimate how many people are affected by Web accessibility is
> difficult because

done

> 7. Remove repeat of "digital divide" in same sentence
> 
> Change: An organization that is committed to reducing the digital
> divide can include in its business case a description of how Web
> accessibility can reduce the impact of the digital divide for people
> with disabilities.
> 
> To: An organization that is committed to reducing the digital divide
> can include in its business case a description of how Web
> accessibility can reduce the impact of economic and social barriers
> to Web use for people with disabilities.

Done

> 8. Correct number agreement / add missing "s" Change: These issue
> overlap with accessibility needs of people with disabilities. Web
> sites and tools that are accessible to people with
> 
> To These issue[s] overlap with accessibility needs of people with
> disabilities. Web sites and tools that are accessible to people with

Done

> 9. Under Web Accessibility Benefits People With and Without
> Disabilities, having the sentence "Below are examples..." followed by
> a "See" reference is awkward. Consider reordering.

Merged with previous para and re-phrased

> 10. The phrase "ageing related" seems awkward, especially since the
> next sentence uses "age-related" -- but I understand, you're
> emphasizing the "ageing" process.  Maybe rephrase "benefit older
> people experiencing ageing related impairments" as "benefit older
> people experiencing impairments due to the aging process" 

Done (in conjunction with some other changes)

> 11. In
> heading "Access for People with Low Bandwidth Connections to the
> Internet, and Older Technologies" remove the comma and add "or Using"
> -- To: "Access for People with Low Bandwidth Connections to the
> Internet or Using Older Technologies"

Done

> 12. Remove comma between items in two-item series in bulleted item. 
> Change: with color, and sufficient to with color and sufficient
> 
> AND Change: technologies, and are thus To: technologies and are thus

Done


Thanks a lot.  Andrew
Received on Wednesday, 20 May 2009 16:32:30 GMT

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