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Editorial comments on draft-fielding-uri-rfc2396bis-03

From: Ian B. Jacobs <ij@w3.org>
Date: 16 Jun 2003 17:24:34 -0400
To: roy.fielding@day.com
Cc: uri@w3.org, ij@w3.org
Message-Id: <1055798674.2578.97.camel@seabright>

Hi Roy,

I enjoyed reading the revised URI spec [1]. I have just
a few editorial comments. Thanks for all your hard
work, Roy.

 _ Ian

--------------
Section 1.2.1

 In the bulleted list, there are three bullets. I suggest 
 splitting the first bullet into two:

   * A URI is a sequence of characters.
   * Those characters are not always represented as a 
     sequence of octets.

 At the end of the section, a forward reference to
 percent escaping as a means of representing
 characters outside the limited set (as octets) might
 be useful.

-------------
Section 1.3

 Although I'm not sure there's much to do about it,
 I think the discussion of character encoding here
 might be confusing. There is (1) encoding used
 to talk about characters in the ABNF and (2) encoding
 of octets in a URI. I am thinking that using "codepoints"
 here might have a slight advantage.

 Also, the ABNF doesn't use ASCII encoding to talk
 about all of the characters; in some cases strings
 are used (e.g,. ":").

------------
Section 1.2

 I don't think the first paragraph adds much; the
 text that discusses this in 1.3 is still fresh in my
 mind.

------------
Section 3.5

 Third paragraph, change "without any implication that the primary 
resource is accessible" to "without any implication that the 
 primary or secondary resources are network-accessible."

-------------
5.5 and 5.1.1

 Both the ascii art and the title of 5.1.1 refer to 
 "document content." I think it would be more consistent
 with earlier sections (e.g., 1.2.2) to talk about
 representation rather than document content.

 Also, there's a missing ")" after "section 4.4" in 5.1

-------------
Section 7.2

 Second paragraph includes "especially when it is a number
 within the reserved space." Where is "the reserved space"
 defined?



[1] http://www.apache.org/~fielding/uri/rev-2002/rfc2396bis.html
-- 
Ian Jacobs (ij@w3.org)   http://www.w3.org/People/Jacobs
Tel:                     +1 718 260-9447
Received on Monday, 16 June 2003 17:26:02 GMT

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