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Re: Copy-editing Benefits

From: Antoine Isaac <aisaac@few.vu.nl>
Date: Fri, 02 Sep 2011 17:45:28 +0200
Message-ID: <4E60FA18.1040904@few.vu.nl>
To: public-xg-lld@w3.org
On 9/2/11 1:25 AM, Tom Baker wrote:
> I have made some copy-editing changes in the Benefits section [1].
>
> I am adding the following points to ConversionStyle [2]:
> -- "e.g.," and "i.e.," (_with_ comma)
> -- Avoid contractions: "don't" should be written: "do not"
> -- "websites" (lower case)
> -- Two spaces after a full stop:
>     "Sentence one.  Sentence two" - and NOT: "Sentence one. Sentence two."
> -- "cataloguing" (with a "u") - YES?
>
> I'd like to draw your attention to one point that is mirrored between
> "Benefits to organizations" and "Benefits to developers and vendors".
>
> "Benefits to developers and vendors" says:
>
>      Developers will also no longer have to work with library-specific data
>      formats, such as MARC, which require custom software tools and
>      applications. Linked Data methods involve pushing data onto the Web in a
>      form that is generically understandable.
>
> ...and
>
>      Library vendors that support Linked Data will be able to market their
>      products outside of the library world, while vendors outside the library
>      world may be able to adapt their more generic products to the specific
>      requirements of libraries.
>
> In parallel, "Benefits to organizations" _originally_ said:
>
>      Adoption of mainstream technology will allow libraries a wider choice in
>      vendors, meanwhile broadening the user base (and thus capacity) of
>      traditional library vendors. Libraries will also be able to recruit from
>      and interact with a larger developer pool, when data formats are mainstream
>      rather than library-specific.
>
> ...which I have edited to read:
>
>      Adoption of mainstream Linked Data technology will give libraries a wider
>      choice in vendors while broadening the potential user base of their
>      platform beyond the library. The use of standard Linked Data formats will
>      also allow libraries to recruit from and interact with a larger pool of
>      developers.
>
> Rationale: I do not understand what was meant by "broadening the user base (and
> thus capacity) of traditional library vendors."  Does it actually mean to say
> that adoption of mainstream Linked Data technology will broaden the potential
> user base of their platform beyond the library?  If this is not the intended
> meaning, I suggest we _not_ revert to the old wording but come up with a different,
> clearer, wording.


It seems ok. I mean the old, wording was saying something different, but that different thing belonged more to the "benefits to vendors"--where it happens to be, already :-)

Antoine


>
> Tom
>
> [1] http://www.w3.org/2005/Incubator/lld/wiki/index.php?title=Benefits&diff=6065&oldid=6018
> [2] http://www.w3.org/2005/Incubator/lld/wiki/ConversionStyle
>
>
Received on Friday, 2 September 2011 15:43:29 GMT

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