Re: Indiegogo Code for the Web -- Draft comments

On 05/19/2013 08:18 PM, Steven Rowat wrote:
> 1. Why are there only three mentors listed at the very bottom, but 8 
> listed in the "Who are mentors?" section? Apparently the 'team' at 
> Indiegogo is different from the actual mentors? How so? I don't like 
> this confusion.

I sent invitations out to the other mentors on Friday, the IndieGoGo
project was put together at the last minute due to the KickStarter
rejection we received on Friday at 5:42pm. The "team" in the IndieGoGo
page is just the mentors that have created IndieGoGo accounts so far.
Expect more of them to add their profiles tomorrow. I'll also send them
an e-mail to prod them to setup images for themselves so people can put
a face to the name.

> 2. Since your face, Manu, is the only one at the top and bottom
> (aside: couldn't the other mentors on the 'team' have pictures too?),
> forgive me if I say that it seems impolite for you to list yourself
> first on the list of 8 mentors. The classical way to give such a list
> would be alphabetical. Or you could list yourself last, which I think
> would be OK too.

I placed myself first since I'm the one that's taking primary
responsibility for the project, but your point is taken. I've moved
myself down to the last position on the list.

> 3. "World class students", "best students",  "top students", "really 
> exceptional students", "amazing students" are terms you use, but the 
> only specific information you give about how we know that they are
> these things is that there were 40 applications and 8 were chosen (4
> for sure, 4 hopeful). Is there anything else you can say? What's to
> prevent someone from thinking that 40 people who were enthusiastic
> but not very good put in applications, and you swallowed hard and
> took the best 8? (I don't believe this, but that's possible from
> reading the page -- although you do say "many of them" came with
> glowing recommendations. Not all of them? -- in other words, what
> guided your choices?)

I've added a section explaining the criteria we used to select the students.

> 4. I think the "brightest minds in the world" reference to mentors
> in the fourth paragraph is too much. You've already described them as
> "some of the brightest minds that build the technology for the Web"
> in the first paragraph.

Removed, and toned down some of the other language in that paragraph.

> And someone who's thinking of giving money is likely to read this
> page very carefully, and I think it will seem likely to them that
> you, Manu, wrote this page, and since you're listed as a mentor (at 
> this point, the first one), you're apparently describing yourself as
> one of the "brightest minds in the world".

Yeah, not meaning to do that at all. :) It was out of respect for the
other mentors involved in the project, who are definitely among the
brightest minds that I've ever worked with.

> 5. I  think there's too much vague exaggeration; in addition to the 
> repeated words about the students, I think "fantastic" publishing
> tools,

Removed "fantastic", toned down some of the introductory paragraph.

> "really awesome" technology, the repetition of "cutting edge",

Removed "really" and "awesome" from the document, removed all instances
of "cutting edge" with calmer wording.

> and "This isn't just any old paid internship" could all be deleted.

Deleted.

Let me know if you're happy with the changes. We're announcing the
project tomorrow morning EST. We can still change much of the text while
the campaign is active, so there will still be time to tinker with the
text over the next two weeks.

-- manu

-- 
Manu Sporny (skype: msporny, twitter: manusporny, G+: +Manu Sporny)
Founder/CEO - Digital Bazaar, Inc.
blog: Meritora - Web payments commercial launch
http://blog.meritora.com/launch/

Received on Monday, 20 May 2013 03:58:36 UTC