- From: Manu Sporny <msporny@digitalbazaar.com>
- Date: Mon, 30 Mar 2015 01:20:44 -0400
- To: public-webpayments-comments@w3.org
- CC: Web Payments IG <public-webpayments-ig@w3.org>
Thank you for your review of the Web Payments Use Cases document, Shane. I applied most every change you suggested, details below. On 03/29/2015 01:05 PM, Shane McCarron wrote: > General comment. Some terms in the document are linked back to their > definitions, and some are not. Or rather, they are, but maybe not by > relying upon the automatic linking that ReSpec provides. This means > that the terms are not “underlined” when they are formal terms. When > printing the spec, that made it somewhat less clear. Please use the > standard <a>term</a> convention so that ReSpec does its magic. I went through and did a massive search/replace, probably missing a non-trivial number of terms. I was using the <tref> / <tdef> stuff that you wrote years ago to do the auto-linking. Didn't know about the <a> magic, but now do, thanks. :) Fixed as many instances as I could find... https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/49dc217b3fa2c10df0ff731c35e2a3d337842118 > Introduction: > > Both real and perceived has emdashes around it. That’s fine, but I > would separate them from the text with spaces. Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7 > Paragraph 3 I would rewrite as: > > > The W3C Web Payments Interest Group is developing a roadmap for > standards to improve the interoperability of payments on the Web. > This will help achieve greater interoperability among merchants and > their customers, payment providers, software vendors, mobile > operators, and payment networks. The roadmap will include payment > schemes > <https://dvcs.w3.org/hg/webpayments/raw-file/default/latest/use-cases/index.html#dfn-payment_scheme>in > > > use today (such as electronic cheques, credit cards, direct debit, and > cryptocurrencies) and those of the future. The roadmap will be > derived from the use cases listed below. Done. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7 > Section 1.2: > > “Section 6 lists the use cases, short scenarios…” > > Change to “Section 6 lists the use cases - short scenarios…” Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7 > Section 2: > > Payment processor needs a noun. Change to “Entity that submits and > processes payments using a…” Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7 > Section 3.2: > > Discover of Accepted Schemes. Content is duplicated. Rewrite as > “The payer discovers the payments instruments that are accepted by > the payee.” The second sentence is redundant. Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7 > Section 4.2: > > Discover of Accepted Schemes: Change “the PayToParty loyalty card > and PayPal” to “the PayToParty loyalty card, and PayPal”. Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7 > Section 4.3: > > Completion of transfer. Remove the last sentence. It isn’t > relevant. Removed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/5eb8248f31edbc93467e90dd5ad9464464e720f7 > Section 6: > > Throughout the section. The printed version of the use cases is > formatted completely differently than the online version. The > printed version is REALLY hard to read. Please try to use the same > stylesheet. Fixed the CSS issue with print (problem was a missing media query for print). https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/7232b47fa7ae9c578874ba31de12bc4196ab14fb > Section 6.1.1.1 > > Hold Funds: > > Exceptions: Is the software acting on the behalf of the Payer or the > Payee? It's acting on behalf of the payer. No change. > In-vehicle: > > Sexy, but maybe add a risks section about distracted driving? I added this to the accessibility section: """ It is important that the interface used to interact with the digital offer does not distract the driver of the vehicle. For example, the use of voice controls is preferred over a visual interface that requires the driver to look away from the road. """ https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > Section 6.1.3: > > Loyalty Cards: > > Motivation: Change “augment” to “effect” or something. Augment > means increase or supplement. We are talking about discounts. Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > Section 6.2.2: > > Manual Selection: > > Change Claire’s story to “Claire has multiple credit cards from the > same bank, as well as one debit card from another bank.” if that is > what was meant. I don't think that's what was meant, changed to: Claire has one debit card and multiple credit cards from the same bank. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > Change David’s story - use the word arrange instead of order. > Order is confusing in this context. Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > Section 6.2.3: > > KYC / AML - expand abbreviation in title. Changed to "Regulatory Blocks". https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > Section 6.2.3.1 <http://6.2.3.1/>: > > Rico’s story needs a period at the end. Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > Motivation: Change “authentication can be used to instead of” to > “authentication can be used instead of”. Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > Section 6.3.1. <http://6.3.0.1/>: > > Payee-initiated: > > Removed “sort of broken security model” in favor of “risky security > model”. Like, reworded... for sure. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > 6.3.2: Hold Verification: > > Motivation: extra comma. Removed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > 6.3.4: Motivation: Change to “vary according to the payment scheme.” Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > 6.3.4.1 <http://6.3.4.1/>: Notifications: Change to “Gavin sends an > electronic check…” Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > 6.4.2: Electronic Receipts: Motivation: Change to read “file tax > returns”. Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > Physical Receipts: Accessibility: change “along-side” to > “alongside”. Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 > 7.2: Delivery of Product/Receipt Change “massage” to “message”. No, see... in the future, all receipts will be transmitted in the form of interpretive massage. :P Fixed. https://github.com/w3c/webpayments-ig/commit/c91712c7aac079791e7050d9fad4c0a2098a13a6 -- manu -- Manu Sporny (skype: msporny, twitter: manusporny, G+: +Manu Sporny) Founder/CEO - Digital Bazaar, Inc. blog: The Marathonic Dawn of Web Payments http://manu.sporny.org/2014/dawn-of-web-payments/
Received on Monday, 30 March 2015 05:21:16 UTC