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Re: comments on Mobile Accessibility call

From: Yeliz Yesilada <yyeliz@metu.edu.tr>
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 2012 10:53:43 +0200
Cc: Peter Thiessen <peterdev001@gmail.com>, Simon Harper <Simon.Harper@manchester.ac.uk>, RDWG <public-wai-rd@w3.org>
Message-Id: <5E30CB0D-30A2-4805-9AD0-24C8702BA7BF@metu.edu.tr>
To: Shadi Abou-Zahra <shadi@w3.org>
Hi Shadi,

Thanks for the feedback.

On 21 Mar 2012, at 02:24, Shadi Abou-Zahra wrote:

> http://www.w3.org/WAI/RD/wiki/Mobile_Accessibility_Call
> - I think Jeanne has raised this before but the template sections listed in section "Contributing" does not seem to match the call text, especially where it says "this symposium aims to bring researchers and practitioners together to scope the extent and magnitude of existing mobile accessibility [...] We specifically seek reports and guides". Having "the problem they tried to solve" after that just seems like a mismatch to me.
> - Minor: I think this same list of template section needs some editorial refinement, it does not read as well as the rest of the text.

I am not sure about this comment, I guess we can further discuss this in the meeting.

> http://www.w3.org/WAI/RD/wiki/Mobile
> - The section "Background" seems quite thrown together. It needs some editorial work to get a better flow and grammar. In particular, please continue the sentence lengths, I already got lost in the first. Also, it seems that there are several points being made at the same time and they may need to be separated out and more clearly explained each.
> - Consider separating out the questions listed in the "Objectives" section into its own section. It is quite a dense (but a useful) list and confuses the section. Maybe a sub-heading?
> - Also, The first paragraph of the "Objectives" section seems to have similar issues to the "Background" section (flow, complexity, grammar, and sentence lengths). It may be useful to break out the inline list into a bulleted list, as this may also help readability and skimming.

I have completed another iteration on the text. I guess we can further discuss it today.

Received on Wednesday, 21 March 2012 08:54:21 UTC

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