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Re: Cool URI doc

From: Leo Sauermann <leo.sauermann@dfki.de>
Date: Sat, 29 Mar 2008 18:27:07 +0100
Message-ID: <47EE7BEB.3070809@dfki.de>
To: Susie M Stephens <STEPHENS_SUSIE_M@LILLY.COM>
CC: ivan@w3.org, W3C SWEO IG <public-sweo-ig@w3.org>

Hi Susie,

I answer to the public list to have your comments also documented and 
referenceable as feedback to the document.

It was Susie M Stephens who said at the right time 28.03.2008 16:42 the 
following words:
> Hi Leo,
>
> I've just really carefully read through the Cool URIs doc. I thought it was
> good before, but now it's excellent!
>
> I have the following small comments on the document. They are all
> suggestions for improving the English, e.g. by removing a few typos,
> changing the flow of a couple of sentences, and highlighting some
> inconsistencies. They are all suggestions, so ignore any if you think that
> they change the meaning of the document, or if you just don't like them! I
> do not need a response!
>
> Thanks for all of your work.
>
> Cheers,
>
> Susie
>
>
> 1. In the section 1, Bob's phone number opens with inverted commas, but
> doesn't finish with them, ie Bob's telephone number is "+1 555 262.....
>   
done
> 2. In the last sentence of the intro, I would start the sentence with "We
> give detailed examples as to how the Semantic Web.....".
>   
done (I am not native speaker, so I trust you here...)
> 3. Section 3, para 1, last sentence. I think the following English would be
> better "We call these real-world objects or things".
>   
done

> 4. Section 3, box 2. I would tweak the latter part of the last sentence to
> "so one URI can't stand for both a Web document and a real-world object". I
> find the 'another' confusing.
>   
hm.... ok

> 5. Figure in Section 3. Shouldn't the label 'Semantic Web' have capitalized
> 'S' and 'W'?
>   
well... maybe, I won't fix that one now
> 6. In section 3.1 you don't capitalize 'Web'. I thought that you did
> earlier. It'd be nice if you could quickly check web and semantic web to
> see if you are being consistent in your capitalization.
>   
done, a few "web" slipped our previous replacement.

> 7. Section 3.1, para 2, it should be 'a Web document', not 'an'.
>   
done
> 8. Section 4.4. Para 4.  I find the 1st sentence hard to read. How about
> "Note also, that both 303 and Hash can be combined, allowing a large datase
> to be separated into multiple parts ...".
>   
done
> 9. Section 4.4. Para 5. I'd prefer 'Any fragment identifier is valid, this
> in the above URI....".
>   
hm, ok (sounds weird though, I would prefer "in above" but "in the 
above" is more googleable)
> 10. Section 4.6. Para starting with 'The client...'. There's an extra word
> in the first sentence. '....that a thing is described by the a web
> document'. Another example of inconsistent capitalization too.
>   
done
> 11. Section 5, Dunno if wiki should be capitalized. But should be
> consistent.
>   
switched to lowercase "wiki"
> 12. Last par of Section 5. You mention RIF. Do you mean Rule Interchange
> Format? Could you make that clearer?
>   
added brackets with acronmy
> 13. Section 6.1, para starting with 'To be truly useful...'.  I think the
> following would be easier to read '... must also define a protocol as to
> how to access more...'.
>   
didn't like "as to how to", instead rephrased:
To be truly useful, a new scheme must be accompanied by a protocol 
defining how to access more information about the identified resource
> 14. Section 6.1, next para. Should the 'S' in 'Web Service' be capitalized?
>   
yes, looks better
> 15. Section 6.2, para begining 'another drawback'. I'd prefer 'In such
> cases a standardization....'.
>   
ok
> 16. Section 6.2. I'd prefer the 1st para to start with 'Reference by
> description radically....', rather than 'This approach radically' for a new
> section.
>   
good idea! done.
capitalized "Description", but it between "" and italized it, to make it 
a kind of "name"
> 17. Section 6.2, para 3. I'd prefer it is the last sentence reads 'We see
> that HTTP URIs are still used to identify the location as to where more
> information can be downloaded'.
>   
this breaks the rythm. changed ot:
We see that HTTP URIs are still used to identify the location where more 
information can be downloaded
> 18. Section 8. Typo in the word 'detailed' in the 1st sentence. Does
> Gunnar's surname really have 2 capital AAs?
>   
In his own foaf file he says so :-)
http://www.dfki.uni-kl.de/~grimnes/foaf.rdf
I also asked him (he sits opposite of me in a cosy two person DFKI office)


best
Leo


-- 
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DI Leo Sauermann       http://www.dfki.de/~sauermann 

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Received on Saturday, 29 March 2008 17:28:02 GMT

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