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Re: Yoshio's review

From: Seaborne, Andy <andy.seaborne@hp.com>
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 2004 09:51:09 +0000
Message-ID: <41AC428D.7030500@hp.com>
To: Yoshio FUKUSHIGE <fuku@w3.org>
CC: "Eric Prud'hommeaux" <eric@w3.org>, public-rdf-dawg@w3.org

Yoshio - thanke for the comments.

Now some sections in the document are settling down, I think we can work on the 
presentation of examples.

Up to now, given no autmatic generation of numbering etc for HTML, we have been 
avoiding it because of the maintenance overhead.

	Andy

Yoshio FUKUSHIGE wrote:
> Hi all,
> 
> I have to send regrets for the next telecon (for travelling to Boston).
> 
> I'm reviewing the SPARQL editor's draft and this is my comment so far:
> 
> Though I haven't read through all the part to be reviewd,
> I feel need for clarifying the construction of the document:
> 
> (1) An example should be delimited with a preceding example number and some 
> special
> character telling the end of an example.
> 
> (2) There is considerable redunduncy (repetions), which may puzzle readers.
> I prefer the style with definitions first and examples later.
> Some terms are used before their definitions.
> 
> (3) Putting short headlines or keywords before paragraphs introducing new 
> concepts
> makes it clearer. I see some of them in section 10 and I want them to appear 
> everywhere.
> 
> I know I should write in more concrete way, but I haven't enough time before
> travelling.
> 
> I will report more line-by-line manner later, but I first want to know
> what other people feel.
> 
> Best,
> Yoshio
> fukushige.yoshio@jp.panasonic.com
> fuku@w3.org
> 
> 
> 
> 
Received on Tuesday, 30 November 2004 09:51:50 GMT

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