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Re: comment on wording at beginning of SPARQL Query Language for RDF [OK?]

From: Seaborne, Andy <andy.seaborne@hp.com>
Date: Mon, 13 Mar 2006 14:33:30 +0000
Message-ID: <441582BA.7010200@hp.com>
CC: "Peter F. Patel-Schneider" <pfps@research.bell-labs.com>, public-rdf-dawg-comments@w3.org



Dan Connolly wrote:
> On Wed, 2006-02-22 at 16:37 -0500, Peter F. Patel-Schneider wrote:
>> From: Dan Connolly <connolly@w3.org>
>> Subject: Re: comment on wording at beginning of SPARQL Query Language for RDF
>> Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 15:04:29 -0600
>>
>>> On Wed, 2006-02-22 at 15:32 -0500, Peter F. Patel-Schneider wrote:
>>>> I just started reading
>>>>
>>>> 	http://www.w3.org/TR/2006/WD-rdf-sparql-query-20060220/
>>>>
>>>> and was brought up short by the poor wording at its very beginning:
>>>>
>>>> 	An RDF graph is a set of triples; each triple consists of a subject, a
>>>> 	predicate and an object. This is defined in RDF Concepts and Abstract
>>>> 	Syntax [CONCEPTS]. These triples can come from a variety of sources.
>>>
>>> Perhaps I have just read it too many times, but I can't see anything
>>> wrong with that wording.
>> The referent of the "This" could be one of any number of things.  It could the 
>> "RDF graph", "triple", "set of triples", "subject", "predicate', or "object".
>> There are even other possibilities for the referent of "This".
> 
> I see now. Thanks.

I have changed "This is" to read "RDF Graphs are" making it:

"""
An RDF graph is a set of triples; each triple consists of a subject, a 
predicate and an object. RDF graphs are defined in RDF Concepts and Abstract 
Syntax [CONCEPTS].
"""

> 
>>>> Surely better wording can be generated, particularly at this important part of
>>>> the document.
>>> Do you have any improvements to suggest?
>> Yes, certainly.  However, the improvement depends on the meaning of the excerpt,
>> which I cannot discern.
> 
> OK. Please stay tuned for a substantive reply.

I hope this addresses your comment - please let us know if it does

	Andy
Received on Monday, 13 March 2006 14:34:07 GMT

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