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New upload of USWD, incorps...

From: Addison Phillips [wM] <aphillips@webmethods.com>
Date: Fri, 7 May 2004 16:55:46 -0700
To: <andrea.vine@Sun.COM>, "I18n WSTF" <public-i18n-ws@w3.org>
Message-ID: <PNEHIBAMBMLHDMJDDFLHOEAHIAAA.aphillips@webmethods.com>

Actions taken:

1. Found Andrea's 4.16 paragraph (not below) and incorped it.
2. Did the edits shown below interlinearly.

Note: SAR == "search-and-replace"

Addison P. Phillips
Director, Globalization Architecture
webMethods | Delivering Global Business Visibility
http://www.webMethods.com
Chair, W3C Internationalization (I18N) Working Group
Chair, W3C-I18N-WG, Web Services Task Force
http://www.w3.org/International

Internationalization is an architecture.
It is not a feature.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: public-i18n-ws-request@w3.org
> [mailto:public-i18n-ws-request@w3.org]On Behalf Of A. Vine
> Sent: mercredi 5 mai 2004 18:04
> To: I18n WSTF
> Subject: Comments on sections 4-4.2.3 of the usage scenarios doc
>
>
>
> This is all I could get to before Monday morning, sorry.
> Andrea
>
> Comments on sections 4-  of the usage scenarios doc
>
> 4.1.3.1 Example: 'getFlightDetails' Get fare information and
> restrictionsabout
> a flight
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> Heading looks a little odd with the way it is capitalized and punctuated.

Fixed.
>
> Must come up with a general way to write "end user" (vs.
> "end-user", prefer
> without the hyphen).
>

SAR'd end-user ==> end user

>
> 4.1.4 Service Determined
> ------------------------
>
> "set of behavior" - add 's' to 'behavior'

DONE
>
> If we're capitalizing "Provider" then we need to be consistent
> about it. Their
> are weirdnesses with when we're referring to a specific
> Requester, Provider,
> Service, and Locale, and when we're talking about the generic requester,
> provider, service, and locale.  I cannot seem to follow the
> logic, and itmakes
> the text harder to read.

SARing initial caps. I used Provider and Requester when refering to a
specific example ("Requester A") and provider and requester in all other
instances. Service and Locale both followed this already, it turns out
(instances of "Locale" in the text refer to the Java construct called that).

While doing this: rewrote 4.1.5.2, which had issues.
>
> 4.1.4.1 Example: 'flightCheck' Service
> --------------------------------------
>
> Are you saying you want to remove the hard-coded example?  Or what?
>
> I don't get the point of "Example: Message portions of WSDL for
> 'flightPrice'",
> if the locale is taken in external to this WSDL sample, then why
> bother putting
> this WSDL sample in at all?  Or was this what you meant by your
> note at the top,
> Addison?

Fixed this. Removed a paragraph that use currency oddly. Now it reads
better. Examples fixed.
>
>
>
> 4.1.5 Data Driven
> -----------------
>
> "ISO8601" => "ISO 8601"

Fixed. Added link to ISO8601 to the biblio. Reorged the biblio (put the RFCs
together and in numeric order, added RFC822, added ISO 8601).
>
>
> 4.1.5.1 Example: 'getWeightRestrictions' gets flight luggage restrictions
> --------------------------------------------------------------
>
> " ... the application retrieves information, which is dependent ... " =>
> " ... the application retrieves information that is dependent ... "

DONE
>
>
> 4.1.5.2 Example: Stored User Preferences
> -----------------------------------------
>
> "The person (or process) is asked to login, and the login
> information ..." =>
> "The person (or process) is asked to log in, and the login
> information ... "

Rewrite changed this to: "The user could supply credentials, such as a
login, to the application..."
>
>
> 4.1.5.3 Example: Data from Service to Service
> ---------------------------------------------
>
> " ... model, but is this case, a Requester ... " =>
> " ... model, but in this case, a Requester ... "
>
> "propogated" => "propagated"

DONE


>
>
> 4.2 Locale and Language Dependency in Message Exchange Patterns
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>
> " ...  locales may result a failure or ... " =>
> " ...  locales may result in a failure or ... "

DONE
>
>
> 4.2.1 I-009: One Way Messages
> ------------------------------
>
> Take quote marks out from around A and B.

I did this for all scenarios, rewriting slightly to be consistent (for
example, floating references were made concrete so a sentence like: '"B"
takes a foobar.' now reads: 'Service B takes a foobar.')
>
>
> 4.2.2 I-018: Data Associated with a Default Attribute
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
> "... a Web service is created that wraps a function that returns
> currencyvalues
> as a single numeric field, ... " =>
> "... a Web service wraps a function that returns currency values
> as a single
> numeric field, ... "

Reworked this paragraph to make it clearer.
>
> I'd set off the word 'euro' when it first appears, based on the context.

DONE
>
> I'm not clear on certain nuances in the currency object example.
> If it'sclear
> to everyone else, then it's me.  But I'd need someone to answer a
> couple of
> questions :-)

Ask the questions and we'll see how well we've done.
>
> " ... using ISO4217, which provide ... " =>
> " ... using ISO 4217, which provides ... "

Adding non-break spaces to all ISO and RFC references.
>
> "Example: Multiple currencies in SOAP message" =>
> "Example: Multiple currencies in a SOAP message"

DONE
>
> Also, the final <env:Body> tag is missing its / in the example.

DONE

> I would help to move the <currency> tag to the appropriate spot
> on the left.  If
> we're trying to set it off, we could indent it more radically
> than the other tags.

Don't understand...
>
> "The following is an example which indicates the default currency
> in a SOAP
> header. It is also possible to specify the default currency
> attribute in the
> SOAP body instead of a SOAP header." - OK, granted we know we're
> missing "the
> following example" but the preceding one already shows "the
> default currency
> attribute in the SOAP body instead of a SOAP header."

No, the difference between a "default" value and a currency object is that
the value and currency don't travel together...


> Also, can
> there be more
> than one SOAP header?  If not, change "a SOAP header" into "the
> SOAP header".

You can have many SOAP headers.
>
> " ... 4.4.1 Pandora's box: Using non-internationalized Data
> Structures ... " =>
> " ... 4.4.1 Pandora's box: Using non-internationalized data
> structures ... " or
> " ... 4.4.1 Pandora's Box: Using Non-internationalized Data
> Structures ... "

DONE:  4.4.1 Pandora's Box: Using Non-internationalized Data
> Structures ...
>
> Perhaps we can synchronize the real values of the 2 currency
> examples.  The
> first one is good, the second one (in yen in the header) seems to
> have nothing
> to do with the first.

I don't see the currency examples in Pandora........
>
>
> 4.2.3 I-013: Conflicts Between Requester's Expectations and
> Service's Locale
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---------
>
> Remove quote marks from A.

SAR'd previously. See above.
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Received on Friday, 7 May 2004 20:02:43 GMT

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