RE: Announcement (final draft)

Hi Martin,

Thanks for the comments. I'll include the link into the final version I send
out tomorrow.

I think that the sentence you point out is too long, as you say. However, I
think that the English doesn't read naturally (to me) in your version. How
about this:

>The goal of this document is to gather scenarios for using Web services in
ways that require attention to language, culture, and internationalization.

thanks,

Addison

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Martin Duerst [mailto:duerst@w3.org]
> Sent: Friday, December 20, 2002 12:04 PM
> To: Addison Phillips [wM]; public-i18n-ws@w3.org
> Subject: Re: Announcement (final draft)
>
>
> Hello Addison,
>
> A few more detail comments. Please go ahead and send out the
> announcement tomorrow.
>
> At 10:58 02/12/20 -0800, Addison Phillips [wM] wrote:
>
> >Folks:
> >
> >I have incorporated a few more comments, plus a couple of edits
> of my own,
> >into Tex's last version. Please send any additional comments today, as I
> >will send this out tomorrow (Saturday, Pacific time).
> >
> >Thanks, everyone, for your help in getting this first draft posted,
> >especially Martin for shepherding the draft through the process.
> >
> >Addison
> >----------------
> >
> >The Web Services Task Force of the W3C Internationalization
> Working Group
> >is pleased to announce the publication of the first "Web Services
> >Internationalization Usage Scenarios" Working Draft at
> >http://www.w3.org/TR/ws-i18n-scenarios.
>
> Maybe better to (also) give the exact address:
> http://www.w3.org/TR/2002/WD-ws-i18n-scenarios-20021220/
>
> >The goal of this document is to gather together scenarios for using Web
> >services standards and technologies in ways that require attention to
> >language, culture, and internationalization.
>
> 'gather together' sounds like double duty. just 'gather' should be
> enough. Apart from that, I think all the details are perfect in
> this sentence, but when I read it, I got stuck, it seems to be
> too long. After reading a few times, I think the main problem
> is that 'for using' and 'in ways that' are too far apart.
>
> What about:
>
> The goal of this document is to gather scenarios for Web services
> standards
> and technologies when used in ways that require attention to language,
> culture, and internationalization.
>
>
>
> >This will help us to:
> >
> >    o create "best practices" and tutorial information for Web service
> > implementers and technology providers
> >
> >    o propose standards for Web services and related technologies to
> > support international operation
> >
> >    o demonstrate international issues in existing Web services
> > technologies and standards to the groups responsible for their
> > development and maintenance
> >
> >We invite you to contribute additional Usage Scenarios that document
> >aspects of Web Services internationalization that are not yet covered by
> >this document or that extend the examples given. To contribute,
> please use
> >a format similar to the one used in this document, and send your
> >contribution to the www-i18n-comments@w3.org mailing list (publicly
> >archived). Please use [Web Services] or [WSUS] in the subject.
>
> could be a good idea to give the address of the public archive:
> http://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/www-i18n-comments/
>
>
> Regards,   Martin.
>
> >Please do not send proprietary material or information.
> >
> >We also invite you to join this Task Force. Members of the Task
> Force will
> >have the opportunity to influence the internationalization of
> Web services
> >standards as they evolve. You may also wish to join our public mailing
> >list (public-i18n-ws@w3.org). Instructions on joining the Task Force and
> >mailing list are located on our home page, located here:
> >http://www.w3.org/International/ws.
> >
> >Best Regards,
> >
> >Addison
> >
> >Addison P. Phillips
> >Director, Globalization Architecture
> >webMethods, Inc.
> >
> >+1 408.962.5487 (phone)  +1 408.210.3569 (mobile)
> >-------------------------------------------------
> >Internationalization is an architecture.
> >It is not a feature.
> >
> >Chair, W3C-I18N-WG Web Services Task Force
> >To participate see http://www.w3.org/International/ws
>
>

Received on Friday, 20 December 2002 17:44:42 UTC