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Re: on rewriting, shorten intros -- Re: Comments on Working Draft of "Improving Access to Government..."

From: Jose M. Alonso <josema@w3.org>
Date: Wed, 29 Apr 2009 14:29:45 +0200
Cc: eGov IG <public-egov-ig@w3.org>
Message-Id: <C581D9AC-115A-4CB7-A2A2-396D4399F1C9@w3.org>
To: "Robinson, Paulette" <RobinsonP@ndu.edu>
Hi Paulette,

El 29/04/2009, a las 14:25, Robinson, Paulette escribió:
> I am sorry that I have just not had the time to participate in this
> effort.  Could you please remove me from your list.

Done. Sorry to see you leaving.

-- Jose


>
>
> Paulette
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: public-egov-ig-request@w3.org
> [mailto:public-egov-ig-request@w3.org] On Behalf Of Jose M. Alonso
> Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2009 8:19 AM
> To: Judy Brewer
> Cc: eGov IG; EOWG (E-mail); Suzanne Acar; Kevin Novak
> Subject: on rewriting, shorten intros -- Re: Comments on Working Draft
> of "Improving Access to Government..."
>
> Hi again Judy,
>
> This is the second part of the response. First part at [0].
>
>> ...
>> 2) I encourage the eGov IG to pursue additional copyediting,
>> particularly of the abstract and introduction sections, and if
>> possible to shorten the latter, before finalizing this document, as
>> there is a great deal of good material in this document which in the
>> working draft does not come through entirely clearly.
>>
>> Please let me know if you have any questions, or if additional
>> suggestions of wording for an accessibility section might be helpful.
>> Thank you for the opportunity to comment.
>> ...
>
> Thanks for the suggestion and for your continued support.
>
> As previously mentioned, we received this suggestion several times  
> and,
> as a consequence, Suzanne Acar has recently joined us as technical
> editor. I'm copying her in case she would need clarification, further
> information or additional wording suggestions on issues related to Web
> accessibility.
>
> I think one of the reasons to include some of the content you  
> mention in
> the first draft was to give the eGov community more context on the  
> eGov
> work at W3C. Getting the word out about our work to build community
> around it is something on which we've spent considerable effort so far
> as part of our charter.
>
> Since several people suggested to rewrite most of the introductory
> sections and use a more plain language approach, we opened ISSUE-24  
> [0]
> and is the one that relates the most to your comment. ISSUE-10 [1] on
> the addition of an executive summary is also relevant.
>
> I expect the Group to discuss more about it later today and Suzanne  
> and
> Kevin to work on further editing in the coming days.
>
> Best,
> Jose.
>
> [0] http://www.w3.org/2007/eGov/IG/track/issues/24
> [1] http://www.w3.org/2007/eGov/IG/track/issues/10
>
> --
> Jose M. Alonso <josema@w3.org>    W3C/CTIC
> eGovernment Lead                  http://www.w3.org/2007/eGov/
>
Received on Wednesday, 29 April 2009 12:30:41 GMT

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