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RE: Plain Language use case [was RE: Suggestion for Introduction]

From: Owen Ambur <Owen.Ambur@verizon.net>
Date: Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:07:37 -0400
To: <public-egov-ig@w3.org>
Message-id: <005b01c9c1f3$a7a0b270$f6e21750$@Ambur@verizon.net>
Rachel, I reviewed your draft at
http://www.w3.org/2007/eGov/IG/wiki/images/1/15/EGovIG-PlainLanguageUseCase.
doc  It looks fine to me, but I'd suggest adding small businesses to the
list of target populations since they are the economic engine of job
creation and they don't have the time or resources to hire legions of
lawyers to interpret government jargon.

Since the W3C's technical staff was unable to grant me access to the group
note, I cannot edit it to include your draft.  However, I trust that Jose,
Kevin, or John can.

BTW, as far as I know, the W3C has not published an XML schema (XSD) for its
Group Notes.  If they have, any XML-enabled editor could be used to draft
and edit them, including the 2007 edition of MS Word.  From my perspective,
it seems that the W3C suffers from some of the same proprietary maladies as
those whose shortcomings they aim to alleviate.

Owen

-----Original Message-----
From: public-egov-ig-request@w3.org [mailto:public-egov-ig-request@w3.org]
On Behalf Of Flagg, Rachel
Sent: Monday, April 20, 2009 12:23 PM
To: 'Sharron Rush'; 'public-egov-ig@w3.org'
Subject: Plain Language use case [was RE: Suggestion for Introduction]

Sharron,
Thanks for the reminder.  I've had the plain language draft use case done
for several weeks... but have finally posted the draft to the wiki -
comments welcome.  (Owen A. or anyone, would love your help, if you can put
the doc into xml...I frankly don't have time right now, so just posted a
word doc.)

Also agree, Sharron, with your suggestion to start the Note off with a
brief, plain language intro.  The average person usually has a hard time
understanding "geek speak", so the more clear and simple we can explain what
we're trying to do, the better.  eGov is all about "the people", so I think
this needs to be written in language the general public can understand.

Thanks!
-Rachel

Rachel Flagg
Web Content Manager
   and Co-Chair, Federal Web Managers Council
Government Web Best Practices Team (on detail)
Office of Citizen Services 
U.S. General Services Administration
rachel.flagg@hud.gov

-----Original Message-----
From: public-egov-ig-request@w3.org [mailto:public-egov-ig-request@w3.org]
On Behalf Of Sharron Rush
Sent: Saturday, April 18, 2009 9:58 AM
To: public-egov-ig@w3.org
Subject: Suggestion for Introduction


Hello editors,

In going through the wiki, I find a Pending Use Case around Plain 
Language.  That was the point I tried to make in my first message - I 
think we need to model that.  Rachel, can I support you in that work in 
any way?

But as a start, here is a suggestion for the Introduction.  I am a 
strong advocate for introductory text that simply lays the foundation 
and lets readers know what to expect.  I believe that we may want to 
include one short paragraph (an example is suggested below, but please 
feel free to reject or rewrite) and move all the other explanatory text 
into the Background section. 

_Introduction:_

The mission of the e-Government Interest group is to provide a forum and 
leadership around the issue of how to improve access to government 
through better use of the Web and to achieve better government 
transparency using open Web standards.  We have pursued the mission in 
year 1 by setting these goals for the group:

1.      Explore the benefits and challenges for both citizens and their 
governments of establishing effective, transparent and inclusive two-way 
electronic communication and participatory systems of governing.  

2.      Define the critical links that are needed between standards 
bodies and government entities to help citizens and governments meet the 
challenges and realize the benefits.  

3.      Develop a flexible list of concerns and deliverables to help 
build cooperative relationships that lead to productive next steps.

To meet these goals, the group worked within three Task Forces: Usage of 
Web Standards, Transparency and Participation, and Seamless Integration 
of Data.  The following document describes our findings.


...so, what do you think?  If there is another avenue that you would 
rather I use for suggestions of this kind, please let me know.  And 
thanks for considering!

Best,
Sharron
Received on Monday, 20 April 2009 20:08:55 GMT

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