2009/dap/privacy-practices Overview.html,1.4,1.5

Update of /sources/public/2009/dap/privacy-practices
In directory hutz:/tmp/cvs-serv19567

Modified Files:
	Overview.html 
Log Message:
editorial changes based on Josh review comments


Index: Overview.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /sources/public/2009/dap/privacy-practices/Overview.html,v
retrieving revision 1.4
retrieving revision 1.5
diff -u -d -r1.4 -r1.5
--- Overview.html	6 Jul 2011 06:36:58 -0000	1.4
+++ Overview.html	6 Jul 2011 17:55:09 -0000	1.5
@@ -68,12 +68,11 @@
                class="practicelab">The user should drive decisions
                that affect their privacy within the context of the service</span></p>
                <p class="practicedesc">
-                 The end user should know the privacy considerations
-                 affecting the service, and be able to make choices
-                 based on those considerings. Examples including
-                 choosing the data to share, choices about data
+                 The end user should know the privacy implications of
+                 the service, and be able to make choices 
+                 based on them. Examples include 
+                 choosing the data to share, making choices about data
                  retention and having enough information to know
-                 whether or not to use the service.
                </p>
             </div>
             <div class="practice">
@@ -82,15 +81,12 @@
                context at the time of an operation requiring a
                decision.</span></p> 
                <p class="practicedesc">
-                 User decisions work well when the user knows what
-                 they are deciding about and when they make the
-                 decision in context (at the time) - earlier decisions
-                 may have different effect  
-                 when making a decision in real-time there are
-                 task-specific decisions that need to be related to a
-                 default  ancillary - who is in the best position to
-                 interact with the user, for example when considering
-                 secondary use.
+                 User decisions work well when the user  makes the
+                 decision in context (at the time of an
+                 action). Attempting to make descisions earlier 
+                 can be difficult since without the context can make a
+                 difference. An example is when the decision involves
+                 sharing data with a third party who could change.
                </p>
             </div>
             <div class="practice">
@@ -104,7 +100,7 @@
                  context, a service provider may be able to offer
                  different options. As an example, a service provider
                  could remember certain information (e.g. shipping
-                 address) or require re-entry, depending on the user
+                 address) or require re-entry, depending on the user's
                  retention choices.
                </p>
             </div>
@@ -164,7 +160,7 @@
                  As an example, an address book record is not the
                  natural level of granularity as a user may wish to
                  share different individual address
-                 book fields differently.Thus the natural level of
+                 book fields differently. Thus the natural level of
                  granularity in an address book is the field and no
                  more than the necessary fields should be returned in
                  an address book entry request.

Received on Wednesday, 6 July 2011 17:55:13 UTC