RE: Needed urgent review ....Fwd: Cognitive Section in the MAUR

Hi Lisa and All,

My comments:


1)       Sentence beginning with “Cognitive and …”

a. Cognitive disabilities are neurological disabilities.

·  Suggestion: Change “Cognitive and neurological disabilities …” to “Cognitive disabilities …”.

b. All of the references are to cause/disability disorders except for “memory impairments”.

·  Suggestion: Remove “memory impairments” from the list. It is common to all of the disorders listed anyway.

2)       Sentence beginning with “Individuals with …”

a. It is not just that “…information that is presented as text embedded in a video should also be available as audio descriptions …”. Text anywhere, such as in web pages, should be available aurally.

b. Suggestion: Change to “… information presented as text should be available aurally, including audio descriptions embedded in videos …”.

3)       Sentence beginning with “Some conditions …”

a. The reference to “…multi-system effects …” is confusing to me. I don’t know what that means.

·  Suggestion: Reword/clarify.

b. This is a run-on sentence.

·  Suggestion: Divide into two sentences, i.e. “Some conditions, such as autism-spectrum disorders, may have multi-system effects. Individuals may need a combination of different accommodation.”

c. I believe the reference to “accommodation” should be plural.

· Suggestion: Change to “accommodations”.

John

John Rochford
UMass Medical School/E.K. Shriver Center
Director, INDEX Program
Instructor, Family Medicine & Community Health
http://www.DisabilityInfo.org<http://www.disabilityinfo.org/>
Twitter: @ClearHelper

From: lisa.seeman [mailto:lisa.seeman@zoho.com]
Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2014 9:56 AM
To: public-cognitive-a11y-tf
Subject: Needed urgent review ....Fwd: Cognitive Section in the MAUR

We have been asked to review the "Media Accessibility User Requirements (MAUR)"
document

Can we try and review it as soon as possible and check  the section about
Cognitive in the MAUR:

https://rawgit.com/w3c/pfwg/WD-media-accessibility-reqs-20140717/media-accessibility-reqs/index.html#cognitive-and-neurological-disabilities


They are  soon finalizing it so if we have comments we need to make them as soon as possible

All the best
Lisa
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