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LC-2012: sentence defining content transformation is overly complex

From: Tom Hume <Tom.Hume@futureplatforms.com>
Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2008 00:26:08 +0100
Message-Id: <AE601FE0-B844-44FF-A398-DDA9C978CC30@futureplatforms.com>
To: public-bpwg-ct <public-bpwg-ct@w3.org>

LC-2012 refers to an introductory sentence being overly complex:

"From the point of view of this document, Content Transformation is  
the manipulation in various ways, by proxies, of requests made to and  
content delivered by an origin server with a view to making it more  
suitable for mobile presentation."

If there's a consensus that this is difficult to understand, could I  
suggest as an alternative:

"Within this document content transformation refers to the  
manipulation of requests made to, and content delivered by, an origin  
server. This manipulation is carried out by proxies with a view to  
making content delivered more suitable for mobile presentation."

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Received on Tuesday, 9 September 2008 23:26:49 GMT

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