LC-2012: sentence defining content transformation is overly complex

LC-2012 refers to an introductory sentence being overly complex:

"From the point of view of this document, Content Transformation is  
the manipulation in various ways, by proxies, of requests made to and  
content delivered by an origin server with a view to making it more  
suitable for mobile presentation."

If there's a consensus that this is difficult to understand, could I  
suggest as an alternative:

"Within this document content transformation refers to the  
manipulation of requests made to, and content delivered by, an origin  
server. This manipulation is carried out by proxies with a view to  
making content delivered more suitable for mobile presentation."

--
Future Platforms Ltd
e: Tom.Hume@futureplatforms.com
t: +44 (0) 1273 819038
m: +44 (0) 7971 781422
company: www.futureplatforms.com
personal: tomhume.org

Received on Tuesday, 9 September 2008 23:26:49 UTC